Tales > When Fangirls Attack

"Remus?"

"Somethin' wrong, Sirius?" Remus asked, with a slight sigh. He leant back in his armchair, and looked up at Sirius, who was looking rather curious.

"Well... Yeah."

"Shoot."

Sirius bit his lower lip, wondering how to start his question. "You know--"

"OH. MY. GOD! IT'S SIRIUS BLACK!"

"Oh. No. I'm going to die!" Sirius shrieked, leaping out of his chair, and hiding behind it, whimpering piteously.

Remus grinned. "Cue the fangirls, apparently."

"You should feel jealous and sorry for me, Moony" Sirius sighed, his voice a hoarse whisper. Mission Impossible style, he slowly snuck from behind the armchair, and leapt onto the couch, meaning to land on his feet. Of course, that didn't happen. He stumbled, and fell face forward. Onto a soft cushion, luckily.

"Oi, Sirius. That's an awful hiding spot."

"It isn't my hiding spot!" Sirius argued, quickly leaping off the couch, and crawling on his knees and elbows toward the boys dormitory. "Meet me up there!" he hissed, while crawling up the stairs.

A fangirl sighed, tapping her toe impatiently. "Do I have to say it again? OH. MY GOD. IT'S STILL SIRIUS BLACK!"

"...Meep."

And he was tackled. By some fangirls, of course. He heroically... ran away from them. Screaming. Like a girl. Who was yelling at a spider.

Remus raised an eyebrow, before standing up to follow his friend. He threaded through the disappointed girls. "'Scuse me... pardon me... MOVE IT- I mean... I've had to ask you three times. The least you could do is move out of my way."

The girl frowned, and instantly the crowd disappeared, as they were getting quite boring.

Remus walked up the stairs, to find Sirius lying on his bed. He grinned when he saw his friend enter. "Yay! Now I can ask you my question!"

"Shoot."

"Well... you know... homework?"

"Of course I know homework!" Remus retorted, with a laugh.

"Well... Isn't it work that's meant to be done at... home. As the name so easily states?"

"Well, yes... that's logical..."

"Then why do we still do it at school?" Sirius asked, an eyebrow arching.

"Because- Because..."

Sirius watched intently.

"I dunno. I guess they call it that 'cause they're too lazy to think of another name for it."

"I knew it!" Sirius said, leaping to his feet, "I'm complaining to Dumbledore that our teacher's are too lazy."

"You tell that headmaster, Sirius."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, peering at his friend, before darting heroically from the room.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S SIRIUS BLACK!"

"No! Let me go! NOOOOOO!"

"I guess I'll have to take that message to the headmaster then" Remus said, grinning. And with a shrug, he walked from the dormitory, passing Sirius (Who had been tied to a stake, so he couldn't get away) without paying him any heed.

"Hey! Sirius! Old buddy! Over here! Save me! Help me! I'M GONNA DIE! No! Don't leave me here all on my lonesome!"

"You've got six pretty girls as company, Sirius. You'll live!" Remus called back, before exiting the common room.

Of course, lots of shouts of "NOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!" echoed along the corridor behind him. Now, for matters of importance.

"Why is it called homework, anyway?"