Tales > The Moustache

Robyn: I blame Imogen for this. Completely. In fact, the first line is from something she posted in the MM forums the other day. So this fic is dedicated to you, Imogen. Enjoy! :P

"Hey, Sirius, LOOK! I've got a MOUSTACHE!"

Sirius looked up from his homework, this being one of the few moments that he actually worked on it, and stared at his friend.

"That's great, Moony. You look like an door-to-door salesman," he said, cocking an eyebrow at the smaller boy.

"I don't know, Padfoot, he looks kind of stately with that bit of lip fur," James added, joining the facial hair discussion.

"Why on earth do you have a moustache?" Peter asked, staring.

"Hmm, that's a fair question. Where did that come from? I mean, you're 16 and all, but most boys our year aren't really in a need to shave just yet," James said.

"I've always had a moustache," Remus said simply.

"..."

"Well I have."

"Moony, I hate to break this to you, but you haven't always had a moustache," Sirius replied, trying hard not to laugh. Remus just shook his head, muttering about how they knew nothing and looked at his new accessory in the mirror once more. After a few moments, James could hold it back no longer.

"Okay, I'll bite. If you've always had a moustache, where has it been for the last 16 odd years?"

"It's always been there, you just couldn't see it."

"..."

"You're an idiot," James said sadly.

"And here everyone thought he was the smartest of us four," Peter said, a look of wonder playing across his features.

"How come we couldn't see it?" Sirius asked.

Remus turned and grinned at the raven-haired boy. It was then that Peter noticed a small box poking out behind the chair Remus had vacated to make his 'historic' announcement.

"Simple. Everyone has hair all over their bodies, including their upper lip. So everyone has a moustache."

"Even that pretty redhead Prongs is always following around?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Hey!" came the indignant response.

"Yes, even girls have them," Remus nodded. Peter crept forward and made a grab for the box. He read the side and rolled his eyes.

"Moony, if you're going to use a 'Grow Your Own Beard' kit to pull something like this, you should at least get rid of the evidence," Peter grinned, holding up the evidence in question for all to see. Sirius and James burst into laughter as Remus blushed slightly. He did have enough of a sense of humor to grin, at least.

"What's all this racket down here? It's well past curfew!" Lily Evans said, sweeping down the stairs in a robe and matching slippers.

"Not much, Evans. We were just discussing how ravishing you would look with a moustache," Sirius grinned. James then tried to smother him with a sofa cushion.