Tales > Just Another Day

A/N: Here's my attempt at humor, so it probably won't be quite as good as Robyn's fic. ^^;; This is a challenge that Robyn gave me, the conditions were:

  • has to include the marauders
  • marauder era
  • okay, so the seemingly "unprankable" Sirius must get pranked by either James or Remus.
  • prank, to be determined by you, however it must involve either Snape or Malfoy.
  • possibly have Lily help.
  • you can use your active imagination on what kind of prank this is.
  • must include the line, "I hate it when villains quote Shakespeare"
  • you can involve us if you like. ^^ not required, however
  • "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic". don't care who sings it, but you can either use some of the lyrics in conversation, make someone break into song.

Another day at Hogwarts, and it was time for the first prank of the day. This morning's entertainment was provided by Sirius Black putting a singing charm on James Potter, and the Gryffindor stood up and starting singing VERY loudly:

"Though I've tried before to tell her
Of the feelings I have for her in my heart
Every time that I come near her
I just lose my nerve as I've done from the start

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she does just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

Do I have to tell the story
Of a thousand rainy days since we first met
It's a big enough umbrella
But it's always me that ends up getting wet

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she does just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on

I resolve to call her up a thousand times a day
And ask her if she'll marry me in some old fashioned way
But my silent fears have gripped me
Long before I reach the phone
Long before my tongue has tripped me
Must I always be alone?

Every little thing she does is magic
Everything she does just turns me on
Even though my life before was tragic
Now I know my love for her goes on"

Once the song finished, there was a multitude of snickers from the Slytherin table—most of them supplied by Snape and Lucius Malfoy. James and Lily were both beet-red, and everyone else was laughing, except the humorless professors…

Later that day in double potions with the Ravenclaws, Sirius and Remus were working at one cauldron and James and Lily at another, working on an antidote potion. Sirius decided to be funny and put a realistic-looking plastic spider in James and Lily's cauldron…and predictibly, the cauldron exploded. The purple, burnt-plastic smelling potion got all over…and worst of all, it stained Lily's clothes and turned her and James's skin indigo and crimson spots where the potion had hit it.

Lily screamed out. "SIRIUS ALIOTH BLACK I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!"

"Now Lily, you don't really want to kill my best friend, do you?"

Lily glared at her boyfriend, silencing him. The professor sent James and Lily to the hospital wing so their skin could be returned to its normal state. That took up most of the day, so James ended up going off to Quidditch practice after asking Lily to help figure out what kind of prank they should pull on Sirius as payback.

Lily figured that their best bet at getting back at Sirius was to put some potion in his drink. She went to the dungeons to the potions classroom, where Severus Snape spent his free time teaching himself more potions than was covered in all seven years at Hogwarts. She couldn't really stand Snape all that much since he had a crush on her, but she was the only one of the group who could have a civil conversation with the greasy-haired Slytherin git.

"Hello, Snape."

Severus looked up from the potion when we was finished adding the ingredients he had just cut up. "Hello, Evans."

"I need some help. You've no doubt heard what that prat Sirius did earlier today."

"I heard only that yours and Potter's potion blew up."

"That was because Sirius added something to it right before it blew up. I don't know what it was, but I know it was him."

Severus, "And you want my help in getting back at him, and you need a potion for it."

Lily giggled at the mental image that just came into her head. "Yes, actually. Veritaserum."

Snape had a confused look on his face. "Why would you need Veritaserum, of all things? I thought you wanted to get back at the git…"

Lily grinned evilly, "You don't want to know."

* a week later *

Lily practically dragged James down to the dungeons after Snape sent her a note by owl telling her that he had finished the Veritaserum. James had a look of disgust on his face when he saw the slimeball, but Lily gave him a stern glance that kept him from saying anything at the moment.

Snape sneered when he saw James enter, but again, didn't say anything because of Lily's presence. "Evans, here's what you wanted. And Merlin befriend us, as our cause is just."

Lily laughed at Snape's Shakespeare paraphrase. "I didn't think you would ever read William Shakespeare's plays, Snape."

James glared, "I hate it when villains quote Shakespeare."

"Watch your mouth, Potter, or you'll be next."

"That's enough from both of you. Snape, thank you for your help. James, come with me, you're going to help me with the rest of the plan."

Lily dragged James away and back to the Gryffindor common room before any blood could be shed in the dungeons. By some miracle of sorts Remus had managed to get Sirius to go to the library and work on --gasp-- HOMEWORK!

James pouted. "Now why in the world did you have to ask for the SLIMEBALL'S help?"

"Because we needed Veritaserum and neither one of us can make it correctly, that's why. Now that we have it, and that we want Padfoot to admit that he likes that Robyn girl, you can come up with the rest of the plan."

"How about we slip the Veritaserum into his pumpkin juice tomorrow at breakfast and ask him if he likes her? As well as a few other interesting questions…"

Lily laughed. "Sounds good. It shouldn't be hard to do since he'll be too busy watching Robyn to notice anything that anyone else does. But I am not responsible for anything that happens to you."

"There goes the idea of a girl standing by her man."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm not exactly suicidal you know."

"I'm not either!" yelled an indignant James. He started tickling Lily, and when Sirius and Remus came back from the library they found Lily squealing and trying to get away from James.

The next morning, the Marauders stormed into the Great Hall like a herd of elephants—or whatever it is that four teenage boys storm into a room like! As soon as they had sat down, two young women entered the great hall. One had dark, wavy hair and was wearing Ravenclaw robes, and Remus turned his head to stare at her. Her friend's blond hair was streaked with red and she was wearing Gryffindor robes, and Sirius stared at her. James took this opportunity to slip the Veritaserum into Sirius's goblet of pumpkin juice, and Peter just gave him a "I don't want to know…just don't let Sirius hurt me…" look.

As soon as the two girls had sat down, Sirius started eating his breakfast again and drained his pumpkin juice really quickly. A VERY evil smirk spread across James's face as he asked, "What do you think of that Robyn girl, Padfoot?"

Sirius's eyes widened as he tried to fight the potion. "W-well..I…."

James kept smirking, "Well what?"

Sirius suddenly blurted out, "Robyn's one really pretty girl and I would really really like to go out with her!"

He started blushing Gryffindor as he realized what he had just said, and James snickered. "I knew it."

Snape had walked in right before Sirius's outburst and sneered as he passed the Gryffindor table. "Well, well, I hope the girl at least has enough sense to turn you down if you ever get the guts to ask her. After all, it's not like you and the rest of your damn group have any real reason to bother some of the rest of us."

Sirius glared at Snape and yelled out. "We do too have good reasons to bother you and those other slimeballs you hang out with! You DO know that people have to shower and not put tons of grease in their hair, and that a little sunlight WON'T KILL YOU!!"

Snape looked ready to maul Sirius…or at least do something suitably evil to them. Of course, Professor McGonagall overheard the entire conversation and walked over. "Mr. Black, Mr. Snape, you will both serve detention with Mr. Filch tonight for disruptive behavior."