Tales > Marauder Mayhem and Beanie Baby Banter

As told by a slightly weird ravenclaw who happened to be watching at the time.

Severus Snape edged carefully round the corner, he had been attacked twice by potter and his gang of idiots in the last hour and did not wish for a reoccurrence. He sifted his box from one arm to the other.

All I have to do is get from here to the owlery avoiding the morons and send this bloody box home.

The coast was clear he turned the corner and continued to limp in the direction of the owlery cursing softly under his breath as he went.

Maybe when I’ve sent this I’ll get my revenge on Potter close up one of his beloved secret passages perhaps, make him walk into a wall. Severus chuckled softly. Revenge is sweet.

He turned into the entrance of the owlery, set his box down and began to jot a quick note to his mother explaining that even though it was a nice thought he did not require the contents of said box. Mothers.

Severus heard footsteps approaching and quickly made to shove the box out of sight.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t our good friend Snivellus?"

Severus’ blood ran cold. Severus straightened sidestepped and hoped to god Potter and his gang couldn’t see the box.

“You know Snivelly if you keep following me like this people are gonna start thinking you fancy me,” drawled James Potter as Sirius and Peter chuckled at his side. Severus turned to face them he scanned their faces. Three.

“Drop dead, Potter,” he growled.

“Careful now Snivelly, one more outburst like that may cause you a great deal of discomfort,” warned James as he drew his wand lazily from his robes and pointed it at Severus. ”And we wouldn’t want that now would we?”

“So,” continued James in an almost friendly voice. “What're you sending?”

“A letter,” grunted Snape shifting slightly trying to cover the box. He thinks he’s so smart doesn’t he I’ll show him one day he’ll live to regret the day he messed with Severus Snape.

“A letter, hey, well that would explain why your trying, quite lamely I might add, to hide that box,” replied Potter with that same irritating noise that was his voice. What colour there was to leave Severus’ face was away laughing on a fast camel as he stood frozen to the spot. Then it happened.

“Accio,” Sirius Black summoned the box from behind Severus’ legs knocking him over in the process. Severus scrambled to his feet and readied himself charge at Black when…

WHAM! James hit him with a knock back jinx and then proceeded to aim a full body bind at him.

“Petrificus Totalus!”

Severus could only just see, from his position on the ground, the trio laughing as Sirius slowly began to untie the string securing the box.

“So what’s in the box Snapey?” called Sirius looking up momentarily from his prize. “You don’t mind us looking, now, do you?”

Severus struggled briefly against the curse before giving up. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of watching him struggle.

“I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch that then snivelly,” taunted James, he waited a moment then shrugged. "It looks as though we have permission, guys.”

They are never gonna let this go… Was it to much to ask that they didn’t find out! …obviously.

As Sirius slowly opened the flaps Peter giggled excitedly.

“Control yourself, will you?” Sirius shot at him Peter let another giggle. Sirius rolled his eyes and slammed the box shut. James looked curiously at his friend then a wicked grin crept slowly across his face, not unlike sunburn on a tourist’s back.

“Why don’t we let Snivellus see what he must be dying to know what’s in there seeing its not his box?” Sirius stopped glaring at Peter and scrambled across the corridor to Snape.

Where he pulled him up and slung him unceremoniously against the wall. If he could of moved his face severus would of winced but he couldn’t so he didn’t. He did however think a nice long rather classy string of swear words and felt rather proud about so he put a copyright on them.

(A/N Unfortunately because of this copyright and the nature of Snape I was unable to write them.

Will you please get on with the story?

What happened next Severus Snape will never be able to forget…)

Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew were rolling around on the floor in stitches. They had just opened Snape’s box and found at least 30 beanie babies, which was obviously not what they were expecting, hence the reaction.

“Be-Beanie babies?!” choked James Potter, tears streaming down his face. “You collect beanie babies?”

“Look, look it says here," Sirius cried brandishing a note, "and I quote, 'I even included your favourite, James'. His favourite bear is called James!”

This last discovery sent all three of the present Marauders into a fit of giggles.

Oh yeah funny, real witty I haven’t touched those thing since I was like five. Well ok thirteen but that’s not the point.

“Ok, ok,” said James regaining some measure of control “What we gonna do with him now?”

“Ah, leave him, but put the box closer to him. It’ll be dinner soon and I have a feeling everyone gonna have something good to talk about,” replied Sirius with a chuckle. They looked down at Peter then continued down the corridor.

“You coming Peter?” James called over his shoulder. “You don’t want to be
caught at the scene of a hilarious prank.”

Snape never lived this down.