Ask the Marauders > April 14, 2006

From: Pyperll
So, tell me Severus--if you could have EITHER a bunny OR a kitty for a pet, which would you choose? (don't say neither!)

Snape: Bunnies are useless creatures. A feline however can be trained to be helpful.

Lily: Clearly you've never tried to train a cat before.

Snape: But at least it is possible. And were the feline to be part kneazle, then more's the better.

Remus: I hate to admit it, but Snape is right this time. It is possible to train a cat, but only if you get the cat to want to do what you want it to.

James:He'd probably just use the animal to test potions.

Snape: Why, when I have you lot? *smirks*

From: I HATE DENTISTS
Hey guys. I had a dentist appointment earlier and I loath those guys there (no offense to Hermione of course). Anyway, do you guys hate dentists too?

Lily: I didn't love going to the dentist, but it wasn't so bad. I had pretty good teeth, so I didn't have any problems. Good thing, too. I don't much like needles.

James: Dentist? That's the tooth doctor, right?

Lily: Haha, yes, the 'tooth doctor.'

Sirius: We don't have much need for dentists. There's spells for those things.

Remus: I hate going to the doctor, so I probably wouldn't like it. I'd rather use spells for those things.

Peter: If there are needles involved, count me out. *shudders*

From: Hermione
Did you know JKR originally wanted Remus to be a girl?

Remus: *groans*

James & Sirius: Moony? A girl? Bwahahahaha!

Peter: I'm sure you'd have made a pretty girl, Moony.

Remus: Shut. Up. Now.

Lily: This is from those pages Jo made available on her website, right? The easter eggs? Hmm, well, that would have made the Marauder dynamic interesting.

James: Yeah, well it also listed ole Pete here as a potential DADA professor.

Peter: Me? A professor? I don't even like talking in front of a small group, let alone a whole class!

From: queen Moony
I couldn't help noticing, but, in "Snape's Dungeon of love", Snape said the day Moony's named a god, he'll dance around in a pink tutu. The thing is, isn't that EVERYDAY?

Sirius: Oh, if only we could make him do that every day. But I'm sure he'd figure out a countercurse for it or something to block it after a bit.

James: We can at least do it once. Heh... Or come up with different ways of getting him to do that every day. Now that'd be an interesting exercise.

Remus: Or how about we vary the tutu colors or make him tink instead of wearing the tutu?

Lily: You know that bullying him only makes him hate you more. If you were nice to him, or at least ignored him, he'd have less of a reason to hate you.

Remus: He doesn't like me anyways.

James: There's something you need to understand. He hates me for simply existing. I'm not fond of the bugger myself, but he started hating me when we got to school. That's not my fault.

Lily: But you did aggravate it.

Sirius: Slimy, hook-nosed git...

From: Dumbledore 2
Do you really watch the living in the shower, Sirius?

Sirius: Well, not everyone. It's not like I watch Moony in the shower or anything.

Remus: Good. It would be extremely disturbing if you did.

James: And some people don't shower, so you can't watch them even if you wanted to. Heh...

Sirius: Still trying to figure out how to make people tink from the afterlife. Now THAT will be useful. Bwahaha!

Remus: *long sigh*

From: Linnea
Why did you (Sirius) flirt so much with McGonagall when you guys went in school?

James: You did flirt with her quite a bit, didn't you?

Sirius: Got us out of a couple detentions.

Remus: No, it didn't.

Peter: Actually, I think it may have gotten us more detentions.

James: Yeah, Wormtail's right.

Sirius: *shrugs* It was fun? I just like pushing people's buttons. *grins*

From: Mandy
Ok, apparently I'm blind, so could you please tell me where in the books it says James is a chaser (Not that I don't believe you about it, I just can't seem to find it). Thanks! P.S. You all make me laugh...hard.

James: Jo said it in an interview on Scholastic.com back on October 2000. You can see the entire interview as a transcript here.

Sirius: Not sure why they changed that in the movie. That's kind of random for things to change.

Remus: Screenwriters are strange creatures.

Peter: Yes, but then again, the screenwriter can't seem to get simple things right like Death Eaters using You-Know-Who's name. Ah well, screenwriters never get the book-to-movie thing right.

From: -X-Jacklen-X-The-X-Ripper-X-
Hi. I have a really large problem, and I was hoping you could help. I have three friends at school, and two are picking on (meaning it as a joke) the other. Now, were all friends, but it's hurting the one that's getting picked on feelings. We try to tell them that, but they don't care I guess. When I try to defend my friend that gets picked on, they tell me that it's "not my problem". What do I do? And, Snape, please I want to hear from you too. Your my favorite character (And yes, I have read the sixth book.) I think your really really awesome.

Lily: Stop hanging out with them? Tell them to stop? What does your friend [the one that's getting picked on] think about the situation? Has she spoken up yet? If not, encourage her to do so.

James: Yeah, a little teasing is okay, but some things are over the line. We mess with Wormtail a bit.

Peter: A bit can be an understatement sometimes...

Sirius: Yeah, but we don't let anyone else mess with you.

Peter: That's true... And it's not so bad. I sometimes walk into the jokes.

James: Hell, I walk into plenty. You can't really talk around Padfoot without leaving yourself open to a joke.

Remus: And Padfoot walks into other jokes. So it all works out.

James: I thought that was walls he walked into.

Sirius: Har har.

Snape: I suppose telling them to bugger off would not be an option?

Lily: Yes, you would be correct.

Remus: That usually doesn't work anyways.

Snape: Then the one that is getting bullied should learn to defend herself. It is a cruel world, and you must learn to fend for yourself.

From: You
Remus, you said emo and goth is two different things. Explain!

Remus: Well, goth in the traditional sense is a darker artistic side of looking at the world. A bit morbid, emphasis on artwork as a way to deal with the cruelty of life. Emo is just teenage angst taken to a new level, and is very annoying.

From: Sailor G
Personally, I think disappearing pants on Sirius over April Fool's would have caused quite an uproar. If Sirius didn't have an ego the size of a Zeppelin, do you guys think he'd notice all the attention he gets?

Sirius: It's not quite the size of a zeppelin, thanks.

Remus: But close.

James: He'd not notice as much, probably. But he is an attention-whore.

Sirius: That I am. *preens*

Lily: I think he does everything that he does in order to get attention. Issues from childhood and not getting enough attention.

Sirius: Oh, I got attention as a child. I was the eldest son, so of course I got attention. It wasn't until I came to Hogwarts that they really started hating me. *grumbles*

From: Anime Artist
Hey this one is (believe it or not) for Snape. Is it at all possible to draw you without making you look like a girl because I've tried loads of times and I can't seem to get your slimy greasy hair to look like a guy's and not a girl's?

Snape: I hardly resemble a woman.

James: I second that.

Sirius: I third it!

Remus: Can I fourth it?

Snape: No one asked you. I would suggest making my face look less feminine and you will find that the hair does not matter. Perhaps you are drawing me too much like one of the pretty men in those Japanese cartoons. I am hardly an anorexic pretty boy.

Remus: That's true. You don't have pretty boy looks.

James & Sirius: *snickers*

From: Wonderer
This one is for Lily and James. If Harry had been a girl what would you have named him?

Lily: If you say 'Harriet,' I am going to punch you.

James: I wasn't going to say that, actually. I don't know what we'd have named him. Err, her?

Lily: I always liked the name 'Jessica'.

James: Meh, I'm not good with these things. Lily was the one that came up with a list of names. I just helped pick one out from the list.

Lily: Well, that was helpful a little, at least.

James: And, for the record, it was Lily's idea to use my name has Harry's middle name. I'm not that narcissistic.

Lily: Just barely. *grins*.

From: Person Who's going to be in trouble if s
Hey Sirius, I thought I read your middle name somewhere on this website before, but I can't remember where. So what IS your middle name?

Sirius: My middle name is...DANGER!

Remus: *sigh*

James: You're an idiot.

Sirius: Also true.

Lily: Do you even have a middle name?

Sirius: That's my secret, isn't it?

James: It's probably something equally regal and silly like the rest of his family. Besides, isn't it Regulus' middle name that's of interest these days, not yours?

Sirius: Oh yeah, everyone's wondering if he's R.A.B., yeah?

James: Well?

Sirius: What? And steal Jo's thunder? I'll let her answer that one. *winks*

From: Serious about Sirius
Hey Sirius, is Regulus older or younger than you and did you guys ever pull pranks on him because he got in your way?

Sirius: How can you not know who was the older brother? He's younger than I am, by about a year or so. He didn't get in my way so much at school, being a year behind us.

James: We saw him around, though. With all his little Slytherin friends.

Remus: Well, the pure-blooded stuck-up Slytherin friends.

Peter: Wasn't that just about all of Slytherin house at the time? Then again we still aren't sure if some of them were part troll...

Lily: I saw him at Slughorn's little tea parties all the time. I don't think he liked me much.

Sirius: Of course not, you're Muggleborn. He bought into all that garbage about purebloods that our parents always spouted.

From: Ezra
Do you guys know how to salsa?

James: I think we've gone over the fact that I cannot dance. Remember, Padfoot had to give me a crash course so I wouldn't step all over Lily's feet.

Lily: Hehe, I still like the idea of you two dancing together.

Remus: I don't. That would be disturbing to watch.

Sirius: Something that no one will ever witness. Unless I am horribly drunk. Yes, much tequila would be required before you could even get me to think about it.