Ask the Marauders > January 13, 2006

From: The Advisor
If Padfoot had a kid, would he/she have a fetish for pirates like he does? (Ignore the fact that he was offed by drapes.)

Sirius: Okay, okay, the drapery thing is getting old.

James: *snickers* No it isn't.

Sirius: Bugger off, Prongs.

Remus: A mini-Padfoot would doom the entire world. Doesn't matter if the kid has a fetish for pirates.

Sirius: Moony! How could you! You wound me so!

James: He's right, though. Unless whatever poor girl that had this kid was as sane and calm as Lily is, the world would be doomed.

Lily: Is that why Harry turned out okay? Because I'm sane enough to balance you out?

James: Probably? Though, he does get into heaps of trouble...but they tend not to be his fault 90% of the time. But if you took Voldemort out of the equation, he'd probably make a bit of trouble. He's my son, after all. *grins*

Lily: *sigh*

Peter: I hope the kid wouldn't be a pirate-obsessee. One is more than the world can handle right now.

From: Slytherin Gal
Sirius, don't you think that yellow dress matched Remus' eyes really well?

Sirius: Why are you asking me? What should I care?

Peter: I think we were all laughing too hard to notice.

Remus: *sarcastic* Thanks a lot...

James: It was a very bright shade of yellow, so I doubt it?

Sirius: I think I actually only saw the dress for about 5 seconds before I was doubled over in laughter. Sorry Moony.

Remus: *sweatdrops*

From: Shana
Does it bother any of you that Snape seems to have more fangirls, even after Half Blood Prince?

James: Not really. Everyone in the book has fangirls. Some kid named Blaize Zambini has fans and he's not even a major character.

Remus: I'm just amazed that Snape has fangirls.

Sirius: Even Voldie has fans, which is really creepy if you ask me.

Lily: Which we didn't, but it is creepy. Though, aren't Death Eaters his fans, technically speaking?

James: Nah, they're just willing slaves. They don't want his signature, they want him to give them power and not kill them.

From: Odessa
Marauders: Would you have liked Snape better if he had washed his hair?

Peter: I don't think that would help the situation.

James: We'd be out of joint regardless of his personal hygiene. It's a personality thing, mostly.

Remus: Not many of us are really into the extremely cynical worldview that Snape has.

Sirius: He wanted to be a part of the world that I was trying so hard to escape. We have different outlooks on life, so of course we're not going to get along.

From: cow-gurl
I have two friends that are really good friends usually, but they have been hurting my feelings lately because they have been having sleepovers going to movies and stuff like that without me. I am not even sure they know they are being mean. What should I do?

James: You might want to try saying something to them about how you feel.

Lily: They're certainly not going to know that they're being mean if you don't say anything. But try not to get mad at them when telling them. Calmly explain how you feel and try to work it out with them. I'm sure it's just a big misunderstanding if you're all such good friends.

Sirius: Or you could just beat the snot out of them. Works with me and Prongs.

Peter: That's just you and Prongs, though. You and Moony don't come to blows when you're mad at each other.

Sirius: That's because Mr. Muscles-of-Werewolf-Steal would beat the tar out of me. Prongs and I are more evenly matched.

James: Thanks....I think?

Remus: *long sigh* I wouldn't beat the tar out of you. Just beat you enough to put you in the hospital wing.

Lily: cow-gurl, just talk to them. And ignore Sirius. He's a git.

From: Suzette
What is the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Sirius: Other than Snape?

James: *snickers*

Lily: Oh, grow up...

Remus: Flobberworms are disgusting.

Sirius: There've been some pretty nasty potions we've had to make, and some awful looking plants in herbology. Though I would have to say that most Death Eaters are pretty ugly.

James: I'm sure Bella would be thrilled to hear that.

Sirius: She was. I told her to her face. Heh.

Remus: What did she do after that?

Sirius: Tried to hit me with a curse. She missed. *grins*

From: Werewolf with a cold
What do you guys do to pass the time when you're sick and stuck in the hospital wing, or in your dorm?

James: Depends on how many of us are in there. We do try to see Moony when he's in there after a full moon, but that's usually very quiet and stuff since he's not feeling all that great.

Remus: *nods in agreement* For which I'm very thankful.

Sirius: We've played cards, plotted new pranks, pranked other Slytherins that have been in there with us, and been a general nuisance to Madame Pomfrey. She loves us. *grins*

Peter: Madame Pomfrey thinks you and Padfoot are a nightmare to have in the hospital wing. Either separately, because then the other tries to get in to see the one that's injured, or together, which means she can't throw one or the other out to get some peace.

From: Sammy Jones
What would you say to some friendly female competition? -wink-

Sirius: Ooooh, female competition, eh? *grins charmingly*

James: You've found Padfoot's weakness, pretty girls who think like him.

Lily: Ugh, this is why the world wouldn't be able to stand it if he procreated. More than one of him in the world is too much. Sometimes even one is too many.

Sirius: Aww, Lils! You know you couldn't live without me!

Lily: You, maybe not, but your pranks I definitely could live without.

Remus: But life would be more boring then!

Lily: Not you, too, Remus! You were my bastion on sanity in this group. *sigh*

From: Boing Gloing
Am I right in saying that the center of all evil is brussel sprouts?

Peter: I don't think vegetables are the root of all evil. Sure, they taste pretty bad, but they don't go out and marshal the forces of evil to smite down everything good about the world.

James: *blinks* Wow....that was an interesting answer.

Remus: And it made a lot of sense.

Peter: Except I did have that one dream about broccoli took over the world and woudln't let their kids leave table until they'd eaten all their humans.

Sirius: Now *that* was an interesting answer!

Lily: *sigh*

From: hpmangaotakuchan
So, Sirius, you did a good job teaching James to dance for the wedding. What sort of dance would you say is your forté?

James: RIVERDANCE!

Sirius: No, I don't think I'd look good in those tights.

James: ....think you're right on that one, mate.

Lily: *raises an eyebrow as she considers the idea of Sirius in tights* That's....that's just odd.

Remus: Not as odd as Snape in tights.

Sirius: But to answer your question, person-with-a-really-long-name-- *grins* --I had waltzes and other formal dances pounded into my head from an early age. I don't know if I can say it's my forté, but I do alright.

From: Dessa
Okay, following the same lines as my last question... If you could each have one of the following "powers," which would you take:

Telepathy, telekinesis, precognition, or feeling no pain.

Sirius: FLOATING DEATH FROM ABOVE!

James: Not this again...

Peter: Dessa...how could you? *pouts in her general direction*

James: Telepathy....that means I could mess with people's minds, right?

Lily: Yes, I think mind control would be under there. Like Jedi mind tricks.

James: Perfect..... *evins evilly*

Remus: I'll take precognition. It would be nice to know what these jokers do before
they actually do it.

Sirius: Not that you would be able to stop us, but at least you would be forewarned. *grins*

Peter: That leaves me with 'feeling no pain,' then? Well, with what they come up with for pranks, I think that might come in useful when the Slytherins retaliate...

From: Ginger Paws
What really happened at the News Years party that you aren't telling us? *mischevious glare*

James: Heh, well, somethings are best kept between mates.

Sirius: What we can tell you is no...pineapples were hurt during the production of the New Year's 2006 party.

Peter: Pineapples?

Sirius: Had to think of something that we didn't make explode during the party. I don't think we had any pineapples on hand.

James: Otherwise I'm sure they would have been sacrificed for the greater good of entertainment.

Remus: With said entertainment involving pineapple all over the common room.

Sirius: Instead other things ended up all over the common room.

Lily: Tooks hours to clean it all up.

James: We could have asked the house elves to help.

Lily: That mess was entirely too large to force on to the house elves. They do enough work in the castle.

From: Snowie
Okay, so Sirius actually taught James how to dance? Did that ever lead to awkward misunderstandings? >:)

James: *sigh* Why did we have to tell them that you taught me to dance? Not that I didn't know how to before. I just, well, forgot most of it after I learned.

Sirius: Since your parents were cool and didn't demand that you be perfect?

James: They already thought I was perfect. Only child syndrome, I guess.

Peter: I don't know about misunderstandings, but there were some interesting photos shot during the lesson.

Sirius: ...I thought you said you burned those.

Peter: *whistles innocently*

Remus: *chuckles*

From: Jackline Sparrow
Which of you would be a better canidate to rule the world? Not that I'm recruiting for my army or anything... *looks innocent*

Sirius: Me, of course!

James: Hardly. You'd blow things up for sport.

Sirius: I already do that.

James: You'd do it on a larger scale if you ruled the world.

Sirius: But wouldn't you want to see Voldemort explode in a burst of colorful fireworks?

Lily: While that is tempting, I think Remus would make a better ruler. James would do well, too, if he could control himself.

Remus: *takes a bow* Thank you, Lily.

James: Are you saying that I can't control myself?

Lily: Didn't I just imply that?

James: *sigh* I can control myself when the situation calls for it. ...it just doesn't call for it all that often. *grins*

Sirius: Here, here! *grins evilly*