Ask the Marauders > January 6, 2006

From: The Sirius One
Butterbeer or firewhiskey for the New Year?

Sirius: Both, of course.

James: You were really smashed on New Year's, Padfoot.

Sirius: I didn't do anything too dumb, did I?

Remus: I'm glad to say that you said 'too dumb'. Considering you do dumb things every year...

Peter: Nothing worse than usual, I think.

Lily: Other than try to make out with just about everyone and everything as midnight approached.

Sirius: Ack, did I get anyone?

Lily: Not me. That's as much as I know. *grins*

Remus: I think he got most of the females who were left in the room. With the exception of Lily, of course.

Sirius: *groans* I don't want to even think about this anymore.

From: Tess
What are your wishes for 2006?

Sirius: That no one remembers if I kissed anyone?

James: Love and peace and all that good stuff?

Remus: Signs of not-entirely-human discrimination ending?

Peter: No more fruitcake?

Sirius & James: Fruitcake?

Peter: *sigh* We *still* have my aunt's fruitcake. No one wants to eat it.

Lily: Those things make decent doorstops, I hear.

Remus: Or paperweights.

From: Iselilja
What's the most frightening thing you've ever experienced?

Remus: That would have to be the first time I transformed on the full moon.

James: I'm assuming this is other than death?

Sirius: That wasn't all that frightening, actually. Rather anticlimatic, really. Not that I'm suggesting it. I'd much rather be alive, thanks.

James: Ahem, anyway, something that was really frightening, but in a good way, was when Harry was born. Now that's scary, becoming a parent.

Sirius: Yeah, the idea of your procreating is a little on the disturbing side.

James: Har har.

From: Sir Loo
Sirius, what kind of boring etiquette(sp) type things did your 'darling' mother make you learn when you were younger?

Sirius: *sigh* A lot of useless rubbish. Unless I want to get a pretty airheaded wife, that is.

Lily: You are a rather good dancer, though. I was impressed at the wedding.

James: Haha, well someone had to teach me!

Lily: *raises an eyebrow* Sirius taught you to dance?

Remus: I couldn't teach him.

James: Heh...well, my mum had me take lessons when I was little, but it's not like I really remembered any of it. Padfoot had it pounded into his head a bit better than I did.

Sirius: I guess you could say that. Blech.

Lily: *imagining James and Sirius waltzing around the living room* Oh my.... *bursts into giggles*

James: It's better than stepping all over your feet, or your dress.

Sirius: So yes, I could actually fit in with 'civilized company' if the need arose, but if Death Eaters are who my family consider 'civilized', I'd rather be uncivilized.

From: Selah
Hi everyone, hope you all had a Merry Christmas! Anyway, what are your New Year's resolutions, if you have any that is!

James: Resolutions are silly. I make a resolution not to make resolutions.

Sirius: Except you just did. You managed to make a resolution and break it all in the same instant. Pretty impressive.

James: Then what's your resolution, genius?

Sirius: To bring my pranking to new heights, of course. I mean, I'd like to make it so that Snape's hair is his own personal rave, at the very least.

Lily: I'd like to resolve to give up trying to make Sirius behave himself.

James: Didn't you give up on that years ago?

Lily: Part of me still tries.

Remus: I make a resolution to see more of the creatures in the Forbidden Forest.

Peter: Resolutions don't work for me. I don't have the willpower.

Sirius: You have to make a resolution that you can actually keep along with the usual list of impossible ones. Giving up sweets coimpletely is a bit harsh, isn't it?

James: How about you limit the number of sweets you eat at one meal? That might work better.

From: Emelie
James, if you were offered a place among Santa's deers to pull the sleigh, would you take it?

James: ....I am not a reindeer. I am a stag. There is a difference.

Sirius: A minor one.

James: I am not pulling any sleighs or any fat men in red suits. I am not a work animal. Nor am I a pack animal, while we're on the subejct.

Lily: Or a horse. *giggles*

James: *sigh* I still can't believe you tried to ride around on my back, Padfoot. I don't go jumping on your back.

Sirius: You could. I'm a dog, what do I care?

James: *sigh*

From: Dessa
Okay, so if you guys were Muggles and had to use Muggle weapons (or even if you weren't, and wanted to use them anyway), which of the following would you choose (no one can choose the same weapon). Sorry, Lily, this one's for the boys only.

Weapons: Katana, Bugnuks (Claws), Wire, or Darts/Crossbow/Bow/various projectile weapons.

Sirius: DEATH FROM ABOVE! And below! From all sides, even!

James: I take it you want the crossbow?

Sirius: *grins mischieviously*

James: I'll take the wire, then. Silent death. *grins*

Remus: I want the katana. It's quick, elegant, and requires lots of skill to use
properly.

Peter: All that's left is claws, eh? They're better than the set I've got as a rat now...

From: Sara
Why is there a bunch of penguins outside?

James: I told you to pay them off, Padfoot, but you never listen to me.

Sirius: I didn't borrow meat from them. I've got enough of my own.

Peter: Huh?

James: The Mob Penguins! They rule the Kingdom with an iron flipper from the Icy Peak.

Remus: They've been decreasing in number, though. Angie goes and kills some of them every so often...

Angie: So? I need to level up and the Hot/Cold Ninja Running Suit is so cool!

Peter: You're both nutters, you know that?

Sirius: Clearly, Adventurer, you will not do well if you do not know of these things.

Peter: *sigh*

From: Slytherin Gal
Snape, do you feel you'd be any different towards the Marauders if you were a Gryffindor?

Snape: I suppose I would, though I cannot see myself worshipping them as many of those simpleton Gryffindors do.

James: Now, now, Snape, we have plenty of non-Gryffindor fans, too. *grins*

Remus: The Ravenclaws are particularly amused by the more...difficult...pranks.

Snape: *sigh*

From: queen Moony
Right, what do you think JK Rowling would do if she saw this site?

Sirius: We'd like to think she'd at least be amused.

James: And not completely horrified, we hope.

Remus: More likely amused.

Robyn: I certainly hope that she'd be a bit tickled by all this. It's all in good fun, after all. :)

Angie: I don't think we'd ever know if JK Rowling visited this site, though.

Robyn: But if she does... *waves hello* Heh...

From: Anonymous
Sirius, do you think that your mother was ever possessed by the devil?

Sirius: Nope.

James: Are you serious?

Sirius: Ahem, as tempting as that joke is, I am.

Peter: But you always talk about how awful she is.

Sirius: Sure, but the devil can't possess herself. *winks*

James: *snickers*

Remus: *chuckles*

From: Beaker
So, (Remus and Sirius) since you are both technically dogs, are you afraid of vacuum cleaners?

James: Dogs are scared of vacuum cleaners?

Sirius: I'm not, but then again I'm not technically a dog.

Remus: I'm not afraid of them either. Wolves aren't exactly afraid of much, other than humans.

Peter: I've gotten scared by one. But then I'm much smaller when I transform.

From: Whitstable
*snickers* Did Remus have pretty yellow high heels to go with the yellow dress?

James & Sirius: Bwahahahahaha!

Peter: Oh dear...

Remus: *massive sweatdrop* ...yes...and I don't see how girls can stand to walk in them...

Lily: Call it one of our special abilities.

From: Maggie
If you can do a chaotic pant alignment, why not give Snape a chaotic hair alignment? You know, bald, mohawk, pink...?

James: A mohawk, eh? Maybe a rainbow mohawk?

Sirius: Chaotic hair alignment.... I like the sound of that. *grins*

James: We should investigate this.

Sirius: Definitely.

Remus: It is much safer for all of us than the chaotic pants alignment.

Sirius: You're just jealous because my pants are way cooler than yours.

James: Not when they're non-existent. Then they're just scary.

From: Shadow Dog
Have any of you gone sledding, skiing or snowboarding?

Peter: Sledding's a lot of fun.

James: I've been skiing a few times. It's fun, though it's harder not to run into things. Sledding can sometimes be a bit safer?

Sirius: Nah, skiing's safer because you can steer better.

Remus: I've done both, and I like skiing better. I prefer being able to choose my fate on the slopes.

Lily: Snowboarding wasn't really around when we were, so we didn't get to try that. Though that's probably better for these two. They get into enough trouble as it is.

From: Another swedish girl...
When transforming back from your animagus form, do you end up naked, or do your clothes reappear as well?

Lily: Thankfully, their clothes reappear with them. *sigh*

Sirius: Unless there were no clothes to begin with, of course.

Lily: No. Bad dog.

Sirius: *sad puppy dog face* But Liiiiiiiils...

Lily: Clothing at all times when i tnhe presence of others, especially me. Thanks.

James: Yeah, I hope he's allowed to remove the clothes to, you know, change them and shower.

Lily: Well, so long as the rest of humanity doesn't have to be blinded by it, by all means he can shower and change his clothes.

Remus: Good, because he stinks after our all-night runs in the forest.

Sirius: Oh, and you guys just smell like roses after romping around in the Forbidden Forrest. *sigh*