Ask the Marauders > December 9, 2005

From: Lilithe Phileaneus
Have you guys ever rolled up a newspaper and smacked Sirius on the nose? (Sirius, I'm sorry that all my questions abuse you.)

James: I've come very, *very* close to doing it, but I haven't done it yet.

Sirius: For which I am thankful.

Remus: So am I. His whining afterwards would drive all of us even more insane.

Peter: He gets away with most things because of that 'sad puppy dog look' he's got.

Sirius: *grins*

Lily: Besides, I feel like that would just encourage him.

James: I don't know. He doesn't like being threatened with it when in dog form, that's for sure.

Sirius: How would you like it if I put on an orange vest and started chasing you around with a shotgun?

James: *stares in a slightly scared way* Erm, I wouldn't much like it, I think.

Sirius: Not that I would do that, of course. So please don't hit me with a rolled up newspaper.

Lily: I still don't think it would be a good way to discipline him. After all, that's for when dogs chew on things or make messes in the house. Sirius is mature enough not to do at least *those* things.

Sirius: Ew, certainly not.

From: Ajax
Say you have to sing in front of a huge group of people. What's the best way to calm nerves?

Lily: A few deep breaths?

Sirius: Picture them all in their underwear!

James: What if Snape or any other undesireable person is out there? Would you still picture them in their underwear?

Remus: Prongs, I did not need to picture THAT.

Sirius: Nah, I'd picture them in a tutu or something.

Peter: Then all you would do is laugh throughout the song instead of sing.

Sirius: You have a point there, Wormtail. That could be problematic.

Peter: I usually stare at a point at the back of the room above everyone's heads so I don't have to make eye contact. You know, pretend no one else is in the room, and all that.

Lily: That might actually work. You can also practice in front of your friends first to make yourself more comfortable with the idea of singing in front of a larger group.

From: Jenny
Why is Snape's hair pink on the site's header?

James: Why not?

Sirius: Actually, that's Prongs' fault.

James: *My* fault? You're the one who did it, not me! Sure, he blamed me because I was the one sitting next to him in Potions, but I wasn't even paying attention to the git!

Peter: He was too busy staring at Lily.

Lily: I think I remember this episode...

James: *flushes* So what if I was looking at Lily.

Sirius: It's not like it's a news flash that you've fancied her since at least third year.

James: But yes, Snape's hair routinely flashes different colors, pink being the favorite.

Remus: Followed by crimson and gold.

From: Anya
Severus, how did it feel to finally get the Defense Against the Dark Arts job? I feel that you were the most qualified teacher yet.

Snape: ...I do not wish to speak of that year just yet.

Sirius: C'mon Snape, everyone makes fun of me about my death by drapery.

Snape: Just because you are an inept fool who revels in any attention that he gets does not mean I need discuss my "feelings" with any of you.

James: Ouch, that's harsh.

Lily: He did have a bit of a year, though...

Remus: Only a bit?

Sirius: *rolls eyes*

From: I'm Crazy
Don't you guys think teasing Sirius about drapery all the time will eventually traumatize him?

Lily: Not much phases him, actually.

Sirius: *grins*

Remus: If living among the 'noble house of Black' couldn't traumatize him, nothing could.

James: He's been a pretty good sport about it. And it's all in good fun, as he was trying to protect Harry. Can't hold the drapery thing against him for that.

Sirius: Thanks, Prongs. You're the best mate a guy could ever have.

James: Though, it's still hilarious that he was killed by a bit of fabric. *snickers*

Sirius: ...I hate you.

From: Sky
Wait... you said Remus was in a dress once. What color was it?

James: Wasn't it some lovely yellow number?

Sirius: I thought it was lavendar.

Peter: No, I don't think it was any purply color...

Remus: *groans* It was light yellow. And I hated it.

From: Slytherin Gal
This is a question for James. If you hadn't been chosen as a Chaser, which Quidditch position would you be?

James: Keeper, definitely. I don't have the eyes for a Seeker...

Sirius: *snickers* At least he admits it.

James: ...and I'm not the muscly idiot that Padfoot is, so Keeper's my best choice. Well, second best choice if Chaser is my first.

Sirius: I am not a muscly idiot!

Peter: You do have a fair bit of muscle to you. Well, pre-Azkaban, at least.

Remus: More than Prongs does.

Lily: You're a fair bit stronger than James is, and you need to be strong in order to be a Beater.

Sirius: See, Lily can make it sound nicer.

From: Sara
Would you dare to prank the queen of England?

Remus: No.

Sirius: Probably not.

James: Really?

Sirius: She's a muggle, so it's not like she can reverse any prank we play on her, so that's really not fair at all. I'm not a stupid prat like the Death Eaters.

Remus: That's more something a Death Eater would pull if they had a sense of humor.

Lily: Well, Sirius, you surprise me a little more every day.

Sirius: *grins*

From: Takuhee
What do you think would be Harry's first impression if he ever went to this website?

James: That Robyn and Angie are two incredibly insane girls?

Sirius: That we're hilarious, of course.

Remus: That you two are insufferable prats most of the time. Hilarious prats, but still prats.

Lily: Well, as he is also within the realm of fantasy as we are, woudl he be able to see this website, which is in the realm of reality?

Peter: That was, um, a little too cerebral, Lily. I'd like to think he would be amused by James & Sirius, just like we are.

Lily: What? It's true! *sigh* But yes, were he to come across it somehow, I think he'd be amused, too, if not a little scared.

From: Hazel
So, Lily, James, & Sirius. Whilst sitting up in heaven where you're not allowed to do anything that disrupts the peace, do you instead drop stuff on those of us who're still earth bound? I swear stuff has fallen from the sky and hit me on the head.... other than bird poop.

Sirius: We're not allowed to disrupt the peace?

James: Yeah, didn't you get the memo?

Sirius: There was a memo?

James: Indeed. A pleathora of memos, even.

Peter: Okay, that was a major case of deja vu there...

Sirius & James: *grins*

Lily: I'd like to think that I would keep them from dropping things on nice normal people. Death Eaters, on the other hand, are fair game.

Remus: Is that how some red Kool-aid ended up in Malfoy's hair that one time?

From: kasey4
Have you ever had a food fight at home or out of the house?

James: We've had a food fight at just about every place we've lived. My house; Remus' house; Peter's house; Lily's house; Hogwarts, of course... Just not one at Sirius' house, as none of us ever wanted to go there.

Sirius: Because I told you what it was like and insisted that you never come over. It was for your own good.

Remus: My parents joined in the foot fight at my house.

Lily: My mum actually didn't mind the food fight that much. I think she was amused by it, though you were all 17 at the time. Wasn't that a bit old to be throwing food about?

James: You're never too old to throw food! *grins*

From: Em
JKR said that your animagus form is the animal you resemble most. How does it feel to resemble a death omen most Sirius?

Sirius: I had such a field day with that! The Divination professor was my favorite target, of course. And that Trelawney girl, oooooh! She was fun to mess with as well.

James: It's actually the personality that you resemble, not the actual animal, though those charateristics could possibly transfer over were you to stay in animagus form for a prolonged period of time. So, taking Sirius as an example, he's a tall fellow with dark hair, so that's the physical charateristics of his animagus form. He's also very loyal and playful, so those are the psychological aspects. Make sense?

From: Dez
Who put those Filobuster Fireworks in Snape's cauldron?

Remus: It wasn't me.

James: Which time?

Sirius: If you're talking about yesterday, then that was me. The time two weeks ago was Prongs.

Lily: You two never quit, do you?

James: I stopped a bit in seventh year, didn't I?

Lily: You can take the wand away from the prankster but you can't take the prankster out of the boy, huh?

Remus: You should know, you tried often enough.

James & Sirius: *grins*

Lily: *sigh*

From: Clairelyse
If Sirius had braces, and transformed into his dog form, would the dog have braces?

Lily: *giggles*

Sirius: Hey now, that's not funny!

James: I don't think he'd have these braces things, but he would have some sort of marking on him where they'd be, probably, if it's part of his nature. Professor McGonagall, for instance, has markings around her eyes in her animagus form because she normally wears glasses.

Peter: I don't rememeber you having markings around your eyes as a stag, though.

Lily: Maybe it also has to fit in with the nature of the animal as well? Since the professor is a tabby cat when she transforms, it is more natural for that cat to have markings on its face.

Remus: Maybe? But it wouldn't be too unusual for a dog to have slightly different markings around his mouth...

Sirius: But what the devil are braces?

From: Ajax
Has anyone (minus Lily and Snape) ever tried to prank you guys?

Sirius: Yeah, we usually get a couple first years near the beginning of every fall term that get brave and try to prank us older students.

Remus: Which never works.

James: And other Slytherins, too, though they're usually just hexing us, which is really not pranking and pretty obvious.

Lily: And I've not tried pranking them, for the record. They end up in the hospital wing enough without my help, no matter how badly I've wanted to hex them in the past.