Ask the Marauders > August 12, 2005

From: Alex Marceau
Hello Marauders, Lily and Snape. I don't mean to bug you, but could you answer this one question? If you could live in paradise for one day, what would you be doing? No consequences. I am going to ask Snape kindly to answer this one, but if he won't it's ok. And I bet Remus' ideal is to be surrounded by interesting book's all day, just like me.

Sirius: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Alex, but I don't think Snape's around.

James: We could fire call him...

Peter: So long as it's not me doing the calling this time. My eyebrows took almost a month to grow back!

Sirius: *throws some power on the fire that has conveniently appeared* Yo, Snape. You around?

Snape's fireplace: You've reached the fireplace of Severus Snape. He's not here to take your fire right now, most likely because he's too busy to be bothered with you. If it's really important, send an owl and he'll get back to you. Eventually.

James: *blinks* Well, that was rather rude.

Lily: As if you're ever the pinnacle of politeness to him.

James: Pinnacle of Politeness... I like the sound of that.

Peter: Ahh, alliteration.

Sirius: Oh well, as for your question, Alex, what could make a tropical paradise even better would be several beautiful, skantily-clad women. And all the chocolate pudding I could eat.

Lily: I understand the women, but pudding?

Sirius: *shrugs* I like pudding.

Remus: Sirius, no skantily-clad women and all the pudding you could want.

James: I don't know if this is supposed to be a tropical paradise, but I'd like to play quidditch professionally. That'd be my paradise. But if it had to be some sort of tropical island-type deal, then Lily in a hula outfit [or just a bikini] would do just fine. *grins* So being lazy with Lily around would be just as good as playing quidditch.

Lily: *rolls eyes, but smiles* Relaxing on a beach in paradise sounds nice. Having a book and some chocolate would be good, too. Though if James were there, I have the distinct impression that I would get absolutely no reading done.

Remus: Relaxing on a beach with good books would be nice. Even better with chocolate, as long as it's kept in a cooler.

Peter: I think it would be paradise just to not deal with Slyherins bullying me for a day. Or anyone bullying me for that matter...

From: sirius is my man
Would you like fries with that?

James: Fries with what?

Sirius: What are fries?

Lily: It's what Americans call chips, I think.

Remus: I think so, too, Lily. And no fries for me, thanks.

Peter: You don't know what french fries are, Padfoot?

James: They're these semi-greasy friend potato fingers.

Sirius: Oooh, I *do* what fries with that! If I knew what 'that' was...

From: Miss Edith
Here's one for ya: When Sirius is in canine form, do ya'll let him up on the couch?

James: Of course not! No dogs on the couch. *evil grin*

Sirius: Prongs! How could you! *grabs his chest with a face filled with mock pain*

Remus: They don't let ME on the couch either, Padfoot. We're also the same size in animal form.

Lily: As if we'd let him on the couch as a stag.

Peter: Deer aren't really built to be on a couch, either.

Sirius: At least I can curl up in a cute fluffy ball! He's all...pointy and stuff with the antlers.

Peter: ...no, it's too easy. Please, stop. *snickers*

James: *raises an eyebrow* I didn't know you had it in you, Pete.

Peter: *shrugs* I've been hanging out with you lot too much.

From: I like marshmellows
Why is the sky blue and the grass green?

Sirius: Because I said so! Of course!

Lily: *sigh* I should have known you'd say that.

James: *laughs* It's probably got some sort of scientic explanation that Moony would know, and that we probably don't care about. Heh.

Remus: The sky's blue because of the particles in the air that happen to absorb all light except blue. Grass is green because chlorophyll absorbs all light except green, making the plant appear to be green.

From: Katie
I have a question for Remus. Why is it in the 3rd book you just "happened" to have some chocolate in your pocket?

James: Because he always has chocolate in his pockets. He's had some on him at all times since we've known him.

Sirius: He's a choco-addict, I tell ya. There's got to be a support group for that somewhere.

Lily: Chocoholics Anonymous?

Remus: I don't know and I don't care. I won't go even if you guys dared me to.

From: celeste
If you could have one superhuman ability what would it be? Sirius, I don't want to know what you're thinking!

Lily: That makes two of us, Celeste.

Sirius: *grins* What do you think I'm going to say? Something naughty? *winks*

James: Eew, stop that. You're creeping even *me* out, mate.

Sirius: I'd like the ability to pass through solid objects.

James: Now that could be useful...

Peter: Invisibility would work well, too.

James: If we each had a superpower, could we use it on others? Like, say Padfoot had his power and Wormtail had his, could they turn us all invisible and pull us through a wall with them?

Lily: Could you imagine the disasters this could cause? *long suffering sigh*

Remus: I think that's their point.

James & Sirius: *indentical evil grins*

From: Dessa
Okay, I promise to never use the "P" word again... Anyway, I have this problem I need help with. You see, I have these two friends. And they like each other. Well, I'm pretty sure they like each other. But they keep saying that they're not a couple. How can I convince them that it's right? **runs and hides from one of the people she's talking about**

Remus: *gulps* Not. Touching. This. One.

James: *blinks* Is this what I think it is?

Sirius: I'm not touching it. Not at all, not with a ten-foot poll, not with nothin'!

Lily: Erm, I would answer, but I fear for my well-being?

Peter: Honestly, what's so bad about telling Dessa to hit her two friends over the head with a brick?

James: Ah, Pete... If only you knew...

Remus: Peter. Run. Now.

Peter: Eep! *turns into rat and hides under a chair*

Angie: DESSA! *takes out Yuuki-fan and chases Peter AND Dessa*

From: Mli
hey there guys (and girl) i have been wondring about a thing... not because of the movie it's just something i tough off... Moony; have you and Lily ever had a secret relationship?

Remus: The cat's out of the bag now.

Lily: Yes, it is high time we were open about our secret love affair. James, I've been seeing Remus behind your back for three years.

James: *blinks* But we've only been dating for one.

Sirius: *snickers* Moony, you dog...

Peter: I think they're playing you, mate.

James: What has Moony got that I don't?

Lily: Aside from self-control and an appreciation for more intellectual persuits?

James: Yeah, aside from those. *pouts*

Remus: Common sense?

Lily: *giggles* You know I love you, James. I'm just playing.

James: *pouts more*

Lily: You're going to keep pouting until I say something nice about you, aren't you? You're so adorable.

James: ...that'll do. *stops pouting*

Sirius: *rolls eyes* You two are so gross sometimes.

From: Rusty S.
How many girlfriends has Sirius had?

Sirius: Don't you mean how many girlfriends have I *not* had? *winks*

James: Man, you're a slut, Padfoot.

Sirius: *shrugs* The ladies love me, what can I say?

Lily: Too bad you never found someone to tame you.

James: Are you saying that I was tamed?

Lily: I don't know what you're talking about, dear. *smiles*

James: *sticks tongue out at Lily*

Sirius: *snickers*

From: Hyper Suger Monkey
WHY IS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP!?!?!?!

Lily: Now that's just weird.

James & Sirius: We didn't do it!

Remus: That is an insane waste of good bacon. Wouldn't have been us.

Peter: That does seem like a silly waste of bacon...

James: Honestly, why would we put something like bacon in soap? It doesn't turn you colors or give you interesting boils. We're more innovative than that.

Sirius: I'd rather eat the bacon, so I'm with Wormtail on this one. Bacon is tasty.

James: I'm not a huge fan. I'll eat it, but I don't go nuts over it like you do.

Sirius: That's because you like your deer food.

James: *rolls eyes*

From: Chibs, the Captain of the Gravy train...
How did James get his invisibility cloak?

James: My dad. *grins* Awesome present, right? I was a bit spoiled as a child, being an only child of older parents. But I think I turned out okay.

Lily: Took you a couple years to straighten yourself out, but it did work out in the end. *grins*

James: *sigh*

Sirius: Have I mentioned recently how much your parents rock, Prongs?

James: Today? No, not yet.

Sirius: Then I mention it now. *grins*

Remus: *long sigh*

From: Totally Innocent
What pirate names would you give yourselves?

Sirius: Captain Stealthypants.

All: What?!

James: Okay, I think you've lost it, mate.

Sirius: Arr, ye may be right.

Lily: *May* be right?

Sirius: And you would need a good sassy pirate name, as you are quite sassy.

James: She does love to sass.

Lily: That sounds wrong on levels that I don't even want to contemplate.

James: *grins*

Sirius: How about Jezebell?

Lily: How about I stay on shore?

Sirius: *grins*

Remus: I'm with Lily and staying on shore.