Ask the Marauders > May 18, 2007

Name: Coacoabutter
Hiya guys! Hey Snape, this ones for you! Have you ever gotten along with anyone outside your house at Hogwarts other than teachers?

Snape: I don't bother them so long as they do not interfere with me.

James: Allow me to translate. "No."

Sirius: This surprises no one.

Remus: Everyone knows that Snape is anti-social.

Snape: Classmate interactions are useless unless there is knowledge to be gained. There is little to be learned from the idle gossip of others, unless that information can be later used against them.

Lily: Yes, because that's totally healthy.... *sigh*

Remus: I wonder what would happen if Snape ran into a gaggle of Ravenclaws and said that.

Name: Jenny
When you are in your animagus forms, can you understand human speech?

James: It's debatable if Padfoot understands human speech when in human form.

Sirius: No, I just have selective hearing. I select not to hear people telling me I can't do something.

Remus: You have that all the time.

Lily: Well, that's your birthday present all sewn up, then.

Sirius: You're getting me a present? I didn't know you cared!

Lily: It'll be fun to see what sort of charms I can build into a magical hearing aid.

James, Remus and Peter: *snigger*

Sirius: I am not an old man. I can hear perfectly fine.

Lily: When you select to. *grin*

Name: I'm Crazy
Sirius, I hate to mention this, but on J.K. Rowling's Black family tree, it appears that your parents were cousins. Did your other cousins tease you about this?

Sirius: How can they tease me about it when that's actually very common in pureblood families. We're all interrelated. You wonder why there are so many nutters tossed in the mix at this stage of the game.

James: His cousins found other things to make fun of him about, I'm sure.

Sirius: We got on well enough when we were children. Though Bella was always a little off, Cissa a bit prissy, but Andromeda was always nice. She was my favorite cousin.

Lily: She's not any more?

Peter: When he was still prancing among the living, I think he means.

Sirius: I do not prance.

Remus: We have seen you prance.

Peter: Haha, Cissy and prissy rhyme...

Name: me is mooney
Snape, you need to answer this, too. What are your favorite hobbies/thing to do?

Snape: *sigh* What does it matter if I answer your insipid questions? I am busy, now go away.

Sirius: Snivellus doesn't want to play with us today, I guess.

Lily: I don't think he ever wants to play with you. You're not exactly nice to him.

Snape: I do not need your sympathy, Evans.

James: Aside from our resident ray of sunshine, would anyone else like to answer the question?

Sirius: I like messing with Snivellus. Does that count?

Lily: Sirius...

James: He does go about it with dedication.

Peter: Which his schoolwork would prefer to see.

Remus: As would I. I think my hobby is obvious considering I usually have a book with me.

James: I think my hobby is fairly obvious.

Sirius: Lily-gazing?

James: *glare* I meant quidditch, you twit.

Lily: *grins*

Peter: I don't know that I have a hobby, but I would like to learn to cook. I'm just not very good at it.

Name: ~SQUIGGLY~
Sirius on occasion has said that his star is the brightest one in the sky. Isn't that the North Star? (Sorry if I burst your bubble Sirius.)

Lily: Actually, for once he's right. The star 'Sirius', from the constellation Canus major is actually the brightest star in the sky. The North Star is actually the star that is essentially motionless in the sky, meaning if you look for it from the same location on Earth over the course of time, it always appears in the same place. The reason it's called the North Star is because travellers would measure its distance from the horizon to determine what their latitude was. The North Star *does* change, but over the course of millenia. Right now, the North Star is Polaris, the star at the end of the handle of the Little Dipper.

James: And we would have been able to recite all that if we had paid more attention during Astronomy.

Lily: Yes, well, I doubt you would have retained the information because you tend to forget what's not necessary to your daily life. I just retain silly extraneous information. Plus, I know how to research. *grins*

Name: JennyGranger
Did you guys know that September 19 (Sirius' favorite holiday *winks*) is also Hermione's birthday?

James: Well, actually I didn't know that.

Sirius: Me neither. And is she a saucy wench?

Lily: You don't call a girl a wench.

Remus: Actually, there is no other word for girl in that particular language...at least none that I know of.

James: And how do you define saucy exactly?

Lily: It's impertinent or cheeky in this case.

Sirius: What she said.

Peter: Not covered in sauce, then.

James: Um, that'd be rather messy, Pete.

Peter: I guess.

Sirius: The fun would be in cleaning it up. *grins*

James: So much for our PG-13 rating.

Sirius: Who's not PG-13? I didn't say HOW you would go about cleaning it up. Your dirty mind just went there. Lils, aren't you supposed to be training him or something?

Lily: I would argue that you need a trainer more than he does at this point.

Sirius: I cannot be stopped, merely contained.

Name: Miss Morgan
Okay, Remus, Sirius, and James, what is your single favorite word?

Sirius: Averse.

James: Why 'averse'?

Sirius: Because I want to see if certain English minors even read this anymore. And I am an evil, evil little boy.

Lily: *sigh* Do you even know what averse means?

Sirius: Yes, I do. :P When you're averse to something, you're opposed to it.

James: Have you been beating him with a dictionary again, Moony? And why didn't you let me help?

Remus: I haven't been near him with a dictionary!

Lily: So, do you two have a favorite word?

Sirius: And not a name, Prongs. A word.

James: Technically it's a word, too. But I will humor you nonetheless. I always liked the sound of discombobulate. It just sounds neat.

Lily: And it doesn't hurt that you like to discombobulate Snape every chance you get?

James: *grins*

Remus: *sigh* I honestly don't really have a favorite word. Give me some time, I'll think of one.

Name: troop643
Hi guys!!! I was in Disney World over spring and it made think of this question: Sirius, is there a Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Veil Disney? If there is, how many times have you been on it?

Sirius: *big teary eyes*

James: Awww, troop643, did you HAVE to mention Veil Disney? He's going to be weepy for a while now.

Sirius: Anyone not killed by evil drapery is not allowed to mock me, Prongs.

James: So getting offed by one of the evilest wizards of all time isn't quite up to snuff?

Sirius: It has more of a blaze of glory ring to it. I just got thrown through a window, essentially. What a rip-off.

James: Very well, He-Who-Was-Denied-A-Proper-Blaze-Of-Glory-Death, is there a Pirates ride in Veil Disney?

Peter: Nice name. Sounds vaguely Native American or something.

Sirius: Har har. If there *were* a Veil Disney, of course there would be a Pirates ride. If there wasn't I would make sure there was one built. If I have to spend eternity in an amusement park, there better be pirates.

Name: Kid asking questions
We all know about Snape's hate for Harry, but did you ever have a teacher that absolutely hated you (and no Sirius you can't answer saying "Snape")

Sirius: Of course I can't say Snape. He's never been my professor. Considering we're the same age and all.

James: Chronologically, at least.

Peter: Slughorn wasn't terribly fond of me, but that's because I would blow up potions all the time. Besides, he was mostly just interested in hitting on James and Sirius.

James: Oh god, I am quite rightly nauseated. Hit on us? Ew. No. Gah, I need to go scour my brain now. Thanks Wormtail.

Peter: *small grin*

Sirius: *laughing* I suppose you could see it that way, actually. But I didn't fancy the idea of being 'collected'. And none of my professors hated me! They all adored me!

Lily: Even McGonagall?

Sirius: Especially her! We had a special rapport, she and I.

James: Yeah. You disrupted her class and she gave you detention. Quite the rapport.

Remus: None of the professors really hated me, just thought I had strange tastes in friends.

Lily: I can't say that any of the professors hated me. At least not that I know of. But then again I wasn't blowing things up in class. On purpose.

James: It was fun, though. And I think the divination professor hated us. Nearly scared that one to death on a couple occasions.

Sirius: I can be quite grim when I want to me. *grins*

Lily: Oh god, is it possible to die from bad punditry?

Name: doodle bug
Have you every tried to convince a first year that they should be friend the Whomping Willow?

Sirius: Once, and we didn't even have to try all that hard.

James: Though, we did pull the kid back out of range before he could really try. We were gits, but didn't want to hurt the kid.

Sirius: Snape on the other hand....

James: You're still in the doghouse for the last Willow-related incident.

Remus: Yes, he is.

Peter: At least no one got hurt in the end...

Name: Sara
Where are my feet taking me?

James: Where you're going, obviously.

Remus: Or where your mind wants to take you.

Sirius: I would say forward, but for all I know you could be walking backward, or even square dancing. Then it gets more complicated.

Lily: How do you even know what square dancing is?

Sirius: You're a bad influence?

Lily: ...except that I'm not from the American West, so why would I know how to square dance?

James: Is that the stuff with the cowboy boots and stuff?

Lily: I guess so.

James: You would make a cute cowgirl.

Sirius: Yeehaw. *evil grin*

Name: Kio

I gave my best guy friend my email and he still hasn't gotten back to me! What should I do?

Lily: Ah, do you have his telephone number? I would call him and see if his email's spam folder is catching non-spam emails, like yours. Or you can IM him or something. I'm sure there's a simple explanation. Most likely he just forgot to reply. Boys do that.

James: Do not.

Sirius: Nah, we do. You're special, Prongs. But then again, you stalked Lils for years, so you weren't about to not instantly reply to an owl. *evil grin*

James: My hatred of you in this moment is infinite.

Peter: Except that it will dissolve before the next question.

Sirius: *expression of mock woe* It is a brief but intense burden to bear.

Name: Camel
Hey, guys. If you could randomly break into song and dance anywhere and anytime you wanted, where would you be, and what song and dance would you do?

Sirius: I say we get the entire Great Hall to do the Time Warp.

James: That would be brilliant.

Sirius: And I would normally say that Snape should be Frankenfurter, but I don't think I want to see that. Ever. The mental images are bad enough. Ugh, I wish I hadn't even thought of this....

Lily: Wow, I never thought you would be overcome with a conscience.

James: Or at least a modicum of taste.

Remus: Or wanting to make sure we didn't get the same bad mental images as everyone else.

Peter: There was that time that we sang 'I've Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts' in Herbology.

James: They were lovely coconuts. Magical in nature, but lovely nonetheless.

Sirius: At least Prongs wasn't singing about L...

James: Finish and you will have more to worry about than evil drapery from beyond the grave.

Sirius: You and what army?

Lily: Me.

Sirius: Oh god, fiery-redhead-induced death. Alright, I surrender.

Name: Celia
Severus, why are you such a genius? Honestly.

Sirius: Because he never gets his greasy nose out of a book?

Snape: Intelligence is an inborn talent and the pursuit of study merely amplifies it.

Lily: I think people can be intelligent in different ways. For example, some people understand music or painting better than others, and some excel at mathematics. And some people are very intelligent but do horribly on standardized exams. Einstein did not do well in school when he was younger, but he was certainly not stupid.

James: Plus, he had better hair than Snape.

Snape: I fail to see how appearing to have been struck by lightning is superior.

Sirius: At least it was clean...

Name: Dessa
*sneaks back in when Angie isn't looking*
Birthday question from a birthday girl. What do you guys do to celebrate your birthdays?

James: Ah, birthday girl? Birthday wishes all around, then.

Sirius: And what DON'T we do to celebrate a Marauder birthday?

Lily: Anything legal, most likely.

James: Have you so little faith in us?

Lily: No, I simply know you all too well at this point.

Peter: It's mostly legal. Usually. Some of the time. Maybe.

Remus: Except that one time with certain beverages...

Sirius: We merely need to top each previous celebration. And with four a year, it obviously was going to get exponentially bigger.

James: It's not like we've been arrested or anything.

Sirius: Yet.