Ask the Marauders > March 24, 2007

Name: Forachelamryx
Hi Remus, have you read any of the Barry Trotter books by Michael Gerber?

Remus: I've never heard of them. What are they?

Sirius: Are they adventure books? About pirates! And swashes being buckled? If not, why bother reading them!

Lily: Because not everyone is mentally 10 years old.

James: Hey, he's at least 12. He likes the wenches.

Sirius: Yay! Wenches!

Name: ~SQUIGGLY~
If somehow, you were given the power to rule over any country in the whole world, which country would you choose?

Sirius: Switzerland.

James: Of everything you could pick, why Switzerland?

Sirius: Because. They make the best knives and best chocolate. How awesome is that? I wonder if there's a chocolate-making knife. Now THAT would be an innovation!

Remus: And the fact that they don't have an army has nothing to do with it?

Lily: I'd like to rule a tropical island or something. Nothing in the realm of countries that like to take over other countries and the like. Just a nice peaceful tropical paradise. Like the Bahamas or something.

Peter: Isn't the Bahamas part of the Commonwealth of Nations, though?

Lily: It is, but that's just an association, not a political power, really.

Remus: I like the sound of an island like that.

Name: Legally Insane
Lily, were you ever a Girl Scout before attending Hogwarts?

Lily: Actually, I wasn't a Girl Guide before attending Hogwarts. You can't be a Guide until 10, but there are Rainbow and Brownie sections for younger girls. I did the Brownie Guides for a couple years, but I didn't really get as into it as other girls did. And once I started Hogwarts, I stopped entirely.

James: ....that's adorable.

Lily: What is?

James: They idea of you in a Brownie uniform.

Lily: You've seen me in a school uniform countless times. How is that cuter?

James: You were Little Lily? *grins*

Lily: *sigh*

Name: Lily (I'm not kiddin)
I like this one guy at school and we are good friends but I don't think he loves me back. What should I do?

Sirius: Prongs, I think this is more your forte.

James: Oh, thanks a bunch, Padfoot.

Sirius: What? It is!

James: Erm...well... You might want to talk to your friends, see what they say, or you could just gather every scrap of courage you've got and ask him if he'd be averse to going to a movie sometime or something. Or whatever the kids are doing these days.

Lily: Whatever the kids are doing these days? Thanks, grandpa.

Sirius: Oh, there's an image. old man Prongs with little grandkids running around at his feet.

James: More likely than you ever having grandkids.

Sirius: Meh. I would get puked on enough by your offspring and their offspring that I wouldn't need to have my own.

Peter: So ends the illustrious history of the House of Black.

Sirius: And the world was better for it. Blech.

Remus: Or at least we can wish for it?

Name: Maayan
Hey Guys and Lily! My question is- What do you think of the picture that get out of you guys in the movie? and James didn't dye his hair did he?

James: Why would I even bother trying to do anything to my hair? You know it does whatever it wants, whenever it wants.

Sirius: I look...odd. But then again, you can't really see much of anything in one still.

Peter: I looked relatively normal.

Remus: I looked mostly normal...at least it wasn't as bad as what they did to me in one of the other movies.

Sirius: Haha, I wanted to rename that movie Enter the Moustache! That would have been awesome.

Lily: Can't tell you, as we haven't really seen me yet. At least not that I can recall.

Name: Hates Keanu Reeves, Loves the Matrix
Ok. Lily, you said in November 2005 that you didn't like Keanu Reeves. Neither do I, but did you enjoy the actual movie?

Lily: The first one was pretty good, but the other two were kind of ridiculous.

Sirius: Kind of ridiculous? They were full on insane!

James: And have a bit of that religion-complex thrown in for good measure.

Remus: And too many Agent Smiths.

Lily: And not enough tiara-wearing elves. *grins*

James: Wrong movie franchise, Lily.

Lily: Hehe, I know.

Peter: I want to be able to stop machines with my mind like Neo. *laughs*

Name: Marauderette_In_Despair
Hey Remus, this question is for you. Would you ever be in chess club? (Wizard chess included.) And Padfoot, Prongs, would you be mean to him for it?

Remus: Yes, I would.

Sirius: Chess club? They have clubs?

James: Apparently. I thought we all just played chess. Are we supposed to make fun of each other for that?

Remus: You two would destroy chess clubs.

Sirius: We tend to destroy everything. *grins*

Name: Buzzer
Hey y'all! This question is for the boys and Lily. If you had a sister around your age, would you let Sirius date her? Sirius, same question, but would you let James date her.

James: I wouldn't let anyone date Padfoot. That would just be cruel.

Sirius: As if dating you would be a walk in the park.

Lily: I like walks in the park.

Sirius: ...

Lily: *grins*

James: Ahem, I still hold that you would be a worse boyfriend. You have the emotional maturity of a doorknob.

Sirius: Oh come on.

James: Fine, a 12-year old. That better?

Sirius: ...at least that's human.

James: If that's what you want to believe, sure. *evil grin*

Sirius: Hating you now.

Name: Anne Ona Muss
Hello all, hate to make you take the time to read yet another question, but my sadistic side is kicking in. How would you interpret "Even the brightest light casts a shadow?" I can see a lot of meanings, and I want to know what you think.

James: Well, It's kind of impossible for light not to cast a shadow. I mean, anything in front of that light will have a shadow behind it. Wouldn't it?

Peter: Even if it was really bright?

Lily: That would just make the shadows even more pronounced.

Sirius: So even I cast shadows?

Peter: *blinks* Huh?

Sirius: I'm the brightest star, but according to this saying, even I cast shadows.

Peter: Do they have shadows in outer space?

Lily: Of course they do. Look at any of the footage from spacewalks that astronauts take. They cast shadows on their shuttle and equipment. And each other.

James: Why do we keep getting deep questions like this? Have we run out of canon-related questions?

Sirius: We can only answer the "OMG, are you really dating Tonk?!!!!1!!!ELEVEN" questions so many times.

Lily: I don't think we've ever answered that one.

Remus: And we never will.

James: Probably besides the point, but I get what you're saying, Padfoot. Maybe we'll get more canon questions when the last book comes out.

Name: Nailah
From 2003-2005, Snape showed up in AtM more often. In the past year or so, there has been a decline in the number of Snapey appearances. What exactly did you guys do to make him disappear!?

Sirius: He got tired of having his nose boxed?

Peter: I didn't think he nose would make a very good boxing partner for you.

James: But the trunks were a nice touch.

Remus: I think we scared him off.

Lily: I think it might be due to the fact that less questions have been addressed to him in the last year. Especially after Half-Blood Prince came out. People don't know if he's good or evil.

Sirius: The git killed Dumbledore, how good could he be?

James: There's always been more to him that anyone knows. You know that.

Sirius: ...he's still a git.

James: No argument there.

Name: OxiMormon
So, in the March 3rd edition Sirius says he'd take Divination all over again and James said "you always thought the teach was a little nutty" and so on. If you are referring to Trelawney, it wouldn't be possible because Dumbledore hired her after her prophecy and she has only been teaching since Harry was born, so that isn't possible for you guys to have her for Divination, so how would Sirius take that class over again?????

All: ...

Sirius: Who said I meant Trelawney? I know she wasn't a professor when I was taking Divination. I was there, remember?

James: But that doesn't mean that other Divination professors aren't as nutty or even more so than her.

Lily: That's something I wouldn't like to look into...

Remus: All the ones I remember were really nutty.

James: And anyway, Padfoot could take the class over again, just it would be with a different professor at this point. Or professors, even. Is Firenze still around?

Sirius: So yeah, I would take the class again, and since we know Trelawney is especially silly about death omens, I would have great fun with her. *evil grin*

Name: Lilian Jamesan Remusan Sirius
Ello Ello Ello... Just wondering, would any of you ever be in any sort of chess club? And would the others of you be sad about it?

Peter: Firstly, that has to be the most bizarre name I've ever seen. That's just not right...

James: Seconded.

Sirius: Thirded, though at least my name does have a suffix.

Lily: At least 'Lilian' is a real name.

Sirius: Real names are kind of relative nowadays. Famous American actors keep naming their progeny strange things like 'Apple' and 'Pilot Inspektor'. And people thought the names in my family were off...

James: Wasn't there a question in here somewhere? Something about chess?

Peter: I don't think we've run into a chess club before. There's really only quidditch for a 'club' activity at school.

Sirius: Unless you count Lockhart's Dueling Club from Harry's second year. Anyway, why would be sad about playing chess?

Lily: It's considered 'geeky' or 'nerdy' in some circles.

James: We all play chess. But wizard chess is far more interesting than muggle chess, so I can see why they don't like it as much.

Name: Miss Morgan
Aww, thanks for answering my question last time. (Curses, Snape!) Aherm, anyway, dark chocolate or milk chocolate, Remus?

Remus: Dark chocolate.

Lily: Oooh, good choice. Milk can get a little sweet for me sometimes.

James: You know, I would make a joke, honestly I would, Moony, but I've got nothing.

Sirius: And I would be throttled in the event I tried my hand at a joke.

James: Therefore, hooray dark chocolate!

Name: Mae
I was just listening to Larry the Cucumber (don't ask). But he was singing about the pirates who don't do anything! Would he be referring to you? (Gives Sirius a suspicious look)

Sirius: I do plenty of things!

James: He does, at that.

Sirius: So, while I am a veritable pirate god, I am not a pirate that doesn't do anything.

Lily: ...

James: You just had to get that in there, didn't you?

Sirius: *grins*

Remus: At least he's not as bad as usual...

Name: SiriuslyPadfoot
Have you guys ever had trouble saying the words cinnamon or feminine?

James: Huh? Why would we have trouble saying that word?

Sirius: Maybe when we were first learning to speak...

Remus: But we are all past that.

Lily: I think it's because they sound similar? But no, I've not had trouble.

Peter: I only have trouble talking when I am flustered. Which does happen a bit, but I stutter more than mix up words.

James: Cinnamon rolls are brilliant. Just thought I would share.

Sirius: They are. Can we get some after this is done?

Peter: Yes! Please? *nods emphatically*

James: Okay, one more question...

Name: HELP!
Ok, no time for hellos *looks around desperately* I need help. I have a video to make on the computer which is due in 2 weeks and i REALLY hate doing stuff like that. What do you think the chances are that my English teacher will believe me if i said my computer broke down? Or would it be more useful getting my dad drunk so that he'll make a note without asking awkward questions?

James: ....huh? What kind of wacked out question is that?

Sirius: Man, just do the assignment.

Lily: You're advocating doing homework? This is a first.

Sirius: It sounds like more effort would go into getting out of the project than just doing it. I advocate doing the least amount of work.

Remus: At least Padfoot can sound sensible at times...

James: Definitely don't intoxicate your dad just to get him to write you a note. I would wager that it would take more alcohol than is safe to imbibe before he would do that.

Peter: The English teacher might believe you had computer troubles, but that means you would just have to do the assignment later to make it up. Just do it now and then you don't have to worry about it, and you can go eat cinnamon rolls!

James: Like we're about to do. To the kitchens!

Sirius: The kitchens!

Boys: *charge out of the room*

Lily: *sigh* Boys... *follows them out at a much more sedate pace*