Ask the Marauders > March 9, 2007

Name: Siobhan
Hi guys, Sirius did you know the was a type of motorcycle called a Marauder?

Sirius: There is? Really? That's BRILLIANT!

Remus: *long-suffering sigh*

James: Oh no....

Sirius: Oh YES! Bwahahaha!

Peter: I don't like it when you laugh like that, Padfoot.

James: I don't think anyone does, Wormtail. That laugh is pure evil...

Remus: Or as close to pure evil as any non-Slytherin can get.

Sirius: ...okay, you know that intraweb thing Robyn uses all the time?

James: ...yes?

Sirius: So I looked up 'marauder' to see what else came up, besides us, of course.

Peter: Of course.

James: I have bad feeling about this...

Sirius: We're apparently a US Government experiment, too.

James: That explains so many things...

Remus: None of them good...

Sirius: Seriously! Magnetically Accelerated Ring to Achieve Ultra-high Directed Energy and Radiation.

Peter: Radiation sounds kind of...threatening.

James: Well, it's certainly about Padfoot. Imagine the kind of destruction that could be wrought if his energy were directed.

Peter: *reading the other entries from Wikipedia* Okay, they're all related to cars, science fiction, or explosives. This is bad. But hey, we're on the list. *feels special*

Name: Wondering
Sirius, have you ever considered initiating a Midnight Bark, like in 101 Dalmatians?

James: He has a tendency to initiate things at ungodly hours, so I doubt this is outside the realm of possibility. Though I think it would be a race to see which one of us clobbers him first for barking when we're all asleep.

Remus: I think it would be me. My hearing is better than all of yours.

Sirius: But what if it were an emergency?

James: I would like to think that you would only bark in an emergency, but then why would you bark when you could shout your head off. Would save time, not having to transform and all.

Sirius: You have a point there. Unless we were running around under the full moon.

James: Ah, well there's an exception to every rule.

Peter: And a detention for every exception, right?

James & Sirius: *grin*

Name: Mrs Moony
Why are all the nice things bad for you? Like chocolate, chocolate is wonderful and it's really bad for you it's unfair. *sulks*

Peter: Chocolate isn't bad for you on its own. I think it's when you eat lots of it that it becomes bad for you.

James: Same could be said for, oh, I don't know, pudding, perhaps?

Sirius: Never! Pudding is always good for you!

Remus: I wouldn't say ALWAYS.

James: Tell that to that jumper of mine that you vomited all over during after second-year Christmas.

Sirius: It was an ugly jumper. I put it out of our misery.

James: My mom sent me that jumper.

Sirius: Lovely woman, Mrs. Potter, but her taste in jumpers is questionable.

Peter: I hate to bring this up again, but I think your mother wins for bad taste in children's clothing.

Sirius: I thought we agreed never to speak of those baby photos ever again. *glares*

Peter: Meep!

James: *snickers at the memory*

Name: Miss Morgan
Name something that boggles your mind. Snape, you too. (Though I loathe you with every fiber of my being.)

Snape: ...what boggles my mind is why you insist upon asking me your tiresome questions.

Sirius: Well that wasn't very civil of you, Snivellus.

Snape: As if you are one to lecture me on civility, Black.

Remus: What boggles my mind is why people bother to ask Snape questions.

James: As much as I would love to continue this charming banter, you're free to go, as you've already answered your question.

Snape: Lovely. As always, gentlemen, it has been less than a pleasure. *stalks off*

Peter: Why do you let him answer questions?

Sirius: Gotta keep the fans happy.

Remus: At our expense, I will add.

James: So, what boggles that little mind of yours, Padfoot?

Sirius: Har har har.... why I put up with you, that's what.

James: *rolls eyes* We in a bit of a mood today?

Sirius: Snivellus has that effect on me, yes. I feel the need to punch someone in the nose.

James: It boggles my mind how Snape has any nose left, considering.

Remus: It boggles my mind how many ways you can come up with interesting things to do to Snape.

Peter: I find the number of questions we've answered kind of mind boggling.

Name: ~SQUIGGLY~
What question would each of ask yourself if you could ask yourself a question using AtM?

Peter: Wow...that's kind of deep.

James: Why would I use a form to ask myself a question when I could just answer the question in my brain the moment I thought of it?

Sirius: I think I'm getting confused.

Peter: You and me both.

James: I'd probably ask myself that exact question, come to think of it. 'Self, why are you asking yourself a question with this form when you could obviously save yourself some time by just answering it in your head when you think of it instead of entering it into a form and waiting for yourself to answer it at some later date?'

Sirius: You're official off your nut, Prongs.

James: I try.

Peter: Maybe you shouldn't try so hard?

Remus: Who says he's trying hard?

Name: you really don't wanna know
Do you believe in death by excited delirium?

James: No.

Peter: Why not?

James: Because Padfoot would be long dead by now. Drapery notwithstanding.

Sirius: *raises an eyebrow* So says Mr. Death By Green Flashbulbs.

James: *snickers* Hey, the Killing Curse isn't nearly as funny as drapery.

Peter: You could always say the Green Lantern knocked you off.

Sirius: But what motivation would the Lantern have for killing Prongs. Unless Lils was his girlfriend first and Prongs stole her away.

Lily: Why am I all of a sudden the Green Lantern's girlfriend? More importantly, are you all high?

Peter: An apt question, if there ever was one.

Remus: Coming from Lily, it is.

Lily: Sirius, you ought to calm down. You're having another bout of excited delirium. Don't want you keeling over dead, do we?

James: You don't want to make the drapery sad, do you?

Sirius: ...

Name: Mae
YAH! I'M BACK! (winks at Sirius and Remus) Thank you for that wonderful peace of insight on the flying monkeys Sirius that was a great help! ^^ Anyways, on to my question. What would happen if you'd mix two pounds of sugar, an angry Filch, and the Whomping Willow?

Lily: How would you mix those ingredients together without getting killed in the process?

Peter: Filch or the Willow?

Lily: Either?

James: Magic!

Lily & Peter: . . .

Lily: Did you leave your brain at home today, dear?

James: *grins* Nope. The gutter maybe, but not at home. Unless you're there. *suggestive grin*

Sirius: It would be a waste of the sugar. Think of the teacups going without! Think of the teacups, man!

Peter: I think you could do without those two pounds...

Sirius: What about the pastries?

Peter: ...well, we can't have tea without pastries.

Sirius: Yessssss, join the dark side! We have pastries!

Remus: I though the dark side had cookies?

James: They would have won if they'd had pastries. I'm sure Vader made a mean black forest cake.

Name: DI Sparky
If McGonagall had found the Marauders Map and tried to get it to show the map, what would it have said to her?

James: It might have been a bit more polite to her. We never hated McGonagall, just liked messing with her.

Sirius: It was so easy!

Lily: She was your Head of House! Show *some* house loyalty.

James: We were plenty loyal. But how can Gryffindors prank others if they're not willing to prank themselves? It's only fair.

Lily: ...I suppose...

Sirius: The map was spelled so it would through insults at the person based on what we knew of the person, otherwise it would be more general insults. At least I think that's the way it worked. Moony looked up that bit.

Remus: *proud* It was designed to only insult people based on our knowledge of them. However, the ones for McGonagall would have been a little more polite considering she was Head of House and all. Something about how curiosity and cats do not mix.

Name: Soccer Nut 1993
If you had to take another class over again, which would you take and why?

James: I liked Transfiguration, so I guess that wouldn't be so bad to take over.

Remus: Defense Against the Dark Arts!

Sirius: Divination!

Peter: I thought you hated that class. Said the teacher was batty.

Sirius: All Divination teachers are nutters, but they're fun to mess with. After all, I can look pretty grim. *grin*

James: Oh god...death by bad pun...what a way to go... *fake collapses*

Sirius: Victory!

Name: Ta-chan
What would you do if you ever came across a fishcat?

Sirius: Grill it with a nice lemon sauce.

James: Ew? What is a fishcat, anyway?

Peter: Half fish, half cat?

Sirius: That's just silly. Cats hate water and fish can't live without it. How would that even work?

Remus: Some cats like water.

James: Snape's half man, half toucan, but he seems to get on alright. I suppose anything's possible.

Name: The Ebil one...and yes I used 'b' on purpose
So.....there are rumours that Harry is actually Snape's son. How do you feel about this? Snape...you have to answer. If you don't...I shall have to be very cross and hurt you while you sleep :) ((And I DO know where you sleep at night ;) ))

James: ....ah duh? What? Are you insane? How could that be possible when he looks like me? Now, if he took more after his mother, then maybe you could make a case, but I think one person a book remarks how he looks just like me.

Sirius: I think you hit a nerve there, Ebil one.

Peter: There's a theory out there for everything. Reality notwithstanding.

James: I feel dirty now. Ugh...

Remus: You know where the shower is.