Ask the Marauders > July 14, 2006

From: out of her mind in the USA
If you called the ghostbusters to exterminate, say, teh Bloody Baron, would it work on him?

James: Why does he get a 'teh'? He's not cool enough for a 'teh'.

Sirius: I don't see why that wouldn't work. I mean, they beat that marshmellow bloke.

James: Besides, why would you want to call someone in to get rid of the Bloody Baron. It's not like he really bothers anyone. Aside from creeping people out.

Remus: But all the ghosts creep people out.

Lily: He does keep Peeves in line for the most part. If he's about when Peeves is making trouble.

Name: Heero
I agree with the June 24th response about Martha Stewart, and I'm compelled to ask what you would do if she came by and wouldn't leave you alone?

Sirius: Blunt object?

Peter: Why not magic? It's far easier.

James: Yeah, I'd have to go with Pete on this one.

Sirius: I guess, but smacking her with a blunt object just seems like it would be far more satisfying.

Remus: How about enchanting a blunt object to hit her repeatedly?

Name: Arkania
Right, I understand that Sirius used to have a crush and flirt constantly with McGonagal. So, my question is, how old was she when you were all in school, what did she look like then and what attracted you to her, Sirius?

Others: *snickers*

Sirius: *sigh* I did NOT have a crush on McGonagall. It was just a joke. *rolls eyes*

James: He's actually telling the truth, you know.

Remus: It was just a ploy to try to get out of detention. Which never worked.

Peter: I think she was 40-something when we started Hogwarts?

Lily: She was 45. And if I remember correctly, Sirius made quite the to-do out of her 50th birthday when it rolled around.

Sirius: C'mon, how could I not? And it was worth every single night of detention.

James: And didn't hurt your reputation among the ladies of Hogwarts either.

Sirius: Hey, I asked you to join in, but you said no.

James: That's dangerous business, cake-jumping.

Peter: It tasted good, at least.

Name: Aladima
Does Snape's hair burn well?

Peter: Surprisingly, no.

Sirius: It smoldered more than burned. Kind of disappointing.

James: Too much grease, I guess?

Remus: Yes, it was too much grease.

Lily: Well, human hair doesn't burn all that well when damp. Nothing bruns well when damp, actually.

Name: Sara
If Peter's too hard to catch then what about 'Put the tail on the dog'?(I think it might work with deer as well...)

Sirius: Oi! No fair!

James: I second that indignation.

Remus: Since wolves are part of the same family as dogs, I'll also disagree.

Peter: Hooray! ...erm, I mean, I don't think that would work any better.

James: *raises an eyebrow* I thought so. We run dead fast when we're in our animagus forms. You've seen how dogs and deer can take off.

Sirius: And I bite. Hard.

Name: Icefire
Padfoot, do you ever make your self nauseaus from your own jokes? (I'm talking about the ATM from June 24,2006)

Sirius: NEVER!

Remus: He just makes the rest of us nauseous.

James: He makes me nauseaus all the time. *grins*

Sirius: Yeah, well looking at you would make anyone's stomach sour. *grins back*

Lily: How romantic. *rolls eyes*

Sirius & James: Hey!

Lily: Nothing.... Tee hee...

Name: World Cup person
Hey, I've been watching the FIFA World Cup, but everyone calls it the World Cup.  Is it a sign of a medical disorder if I say the Quiditch World Cup accidentaly?

Lily: I don't think that's evidence of a medical disorder. You probably just read the Potter books a lot, and definitely more often, so that would be the first thing that would pop into your mind.

Sirius: Now, if you got headbutted in the chest by a French player, then you might develop a medical disorder.

Remus: Or at least have to go to the nearest hospital if it was bad enough.

James: What was that all about? Bad show!

Peter: I think they reported that the Italian player said something about his mother?

Sirius: Hey, you can come insult my mother all you want! I do it all the time. *grins*

Lily: Actually, Peter, the Italian player said that it wasn't about Zidane's mother, but he didn't clarify it any futher. It's just a large bout of stupidity all 'round.

[Angie: I HIGHLY doubt Materazzi would have gone down to the level of insulting someone else's mother. He IS an Italian.]

Name: Lilithe Philaeneus
Have you guys ever been chased by charmed Valentine's cards and candy?

Lily: Yes. *sigh*

James: I thought it would be romantic.

Lily: James Potter, you, at the age of 14, had all the romantic thoughts in your head of a 5-year-old.

James: Would you'd have rather I jumped out of a cake for you?

Lily: Not then. Now....maybe later...

Remus: Too much information, Lils.

Sirius: Eeewww.

Lily: *evil grin*

Name: Me
Hey Sirius, what color was that wicked motorcycle of yours???

Sirius: Black and chrome. She was a thing of beauty. I miss that motorcycle.

James: I wonder whatever happened to that thing. Didn't Hagrid have it last?

Sirius: Yeah, well, my memory of that night is a little fuzzy, so you'll forgive me if I don't remember.

Remus: I'm sure Hagrid had it last. He might still have it.

Lily: That thing was so dangerous... It's probably for the best that it's gone.

James: Maybe Harry inherited it when you kicked.

Sirius: Haha, that would be perfect. He can take Ginny on romatic moonlit flights.

Lily: On a flying deathtrap.

Sirius: And quidditch is safer?

Lily: ....bah, you have me there. Fine.

Name: Dessa
Haven't asked anything in a while, so I thought I'd start off with a present for Sirius (sorry guys): http://www.bordersstores.com/search/title_detail.jsp?id=55809884

Anyway, I need some advice for handling my mom. See, ever since she watched the movies, EVERY time she sees Alan Rickman in something, she calls me out to point out to me "Look! Snape is in this movie!"

How can I a) stop her from doing this, and b) convince her that no, that's Alan Rickman, not Snape?

James: Have you tried asking her to knock it off?

Lily: She doesn't seriously believe that Snape's an actor, does she? It's Alan Rickman, who I have to say is far more attractive than Snape actually is.

James: You know, that is actually rather comforting to hear you say. Not sure why...

Sirius: She's probably just messing with you. You could start pointing out actors to her as her favorite character or something. Y'know, if she happened to like, say, Emma Thompson, you could point out 'Trelawney' to her in every movie. Then maybe she'd stop.

Remus: That is, if she hasn't gone completely nutters.

Name: Sushi
Is there a Wizarding version of Wikipedia?

James: Wiki-what-now?

Lily: It's an online encyclopedia that people can sign up to help maintain.

James: Nope, nothing like that. At least that I know of.

Remus: I've never heard of anything like that.

Name: Marie
Lily, you grew up doing things the Muggle way. After sixth year, did you start doing ordinary things with magical help? Such as cleaning and cooking? And a related question for both Potters: Did you use magic to help care for Harry? ex. changing diapers! (Cuz I know how yucky that is by firsthand experience. x-x)

Lily: Actually, I do enjoy regular cooking. The cleaning, though, I did help my mom out with some potions and things.

James: Magic ALL THE WAY with diapers. When Lily made me do it, that is. Which was a lot.

Lily: You were going to help. It's only fair.

James: I guess...

Sirius: Bwahahaha, Prongs changing dirty nappies.

James: Oh shut up, you babysat for Harry, so you've done it to.

Sirius: Meh. Have I mentioned today how much I love magic?

Name: Elizabeth... Turner
In Pirates of the Carribean Dead Man's Chest, there is a compass that points you to what you want most.  What would it point to for you?

Sirius: A canteloupe.

James: What the hell?

Sirius: A canteloupe. It's a melon, and quite tasty.

Peter: What would you do with a melon?

Sirius: Eat it, of course. Or chuck it at Snape. Whichever seemed more logical at the time.

James: Do I have to answer this question? I feel it's pretty obvious what it would point to.

Peter: You mean who.

Lily: *grins*

Remus: I'm not sure, actually. Sometimes it might point to the cure for lycanthropy, but others I have no idea.

Peter: I'm not sure what it would point to for me. If I was hungry at the time, then food. But other times? Not sure.

Name: Kaka.
When was the last time any of you went streaking?

Sirius: I point you to the July 01, 2004 edition of AtM. And it was fifth year, I think.

James: Yeah, sometime shortly after the animagus thing.

Name: Sport's Crazed in the USA
In the January 2004 AtM, Lily said she likes the movie Bend it Like Beckham, which I love.  To everyone else, for I'm guessing that would be Lily's favourite sport movie: What muggle sport movie is your favourite?

James: I haven't watched a whole lot of sports films. I saw the Beckham one with Lily, but that's about it. Not really my genre.

Sirius: That Replacements movie was kind of interesting. Not big on deep meaning, but it was entertaining.

Remus: That Major League movie was interesting. Once Angie found an uncut version, that is.

Peter: I'm not a sports fan, so much. I haven't seen any sports movies.