Ask the Marauders > February 2, 2006

From: hpmangaotakuchan
Happy Year of the Fire Dog, everyone? *mischievious grin* Anyone set Sirius on fire on Sunday?

Sirius: Fire? When did fire get involved in this?

Remus: I have no idea.

James: Firstly, no, we didn't set him on fire on Sunday. Not that it hasn't happened in the past, just not this past Sunday.

Sirius: *sigh* Sadly, this is true.

Peter: I'm still curious about the whole 'Fire Dog' thing.

Lily: Well, it says here... *reading a book* ...that all the years are associated with one of the five elements, and that it rotates for each time that year rolls around. For instance, 1982 was also the Year of the Dog, but the element associated with it that year was water instead of fire, like this year. Wood was the instance between those two, 1994. [Robyn: Corrected as I can't do math while trying to do five things at once at work. It would have been when I was 12, not 13. Haha...]

James: *peaks over Lily's shoulder* Hey, there's a list of famous people born under the Dog, too! And look who's on the list, Padfoot. Your pal Gary Oldman. [He was born 1958.]

Peter: So wait, what year were we all born?

Sirius: Is there a list of the years in there, Lils?

Lily: *flips through the book a bit* Yes, here we are. [Assuming that the fan-accepted dates are correct for 1960...] We were born in the Year of the...the Year of the Rat?

Peter: Hooray!

Lily: Well, at least if you're born between January 28, 1960 and February 14, 1961, at any rate.

From: Spork Goddess
Did I authorize the use of that spork?

Sirius: Spork? What's a spork?

James: It's this strange combination of a spoon and a fork that muggles like to mass-produce for schools and prisons, I think. Like a spoon with tines.

Sirius: Why would you combine those two things? The fork part wouldn't be able to really grab anything and the spoon part wouldn't be able to grab much soup or pudding.

Lily: And yet they keep making them.

Remus: Maybe it's cheaper for them to only get one utensil for everything instead of two?

From: Katie
What would you guys do if Snape went on a TV show that promised to improve his... apperance and attitude, and all of a sudden the girls were falling in love with him and not Sirius.

James: I'd wonder what sort of spell he'd cast, as girls aren't that easy to win over suddenly like that.

Remus: It's no spell that I've ever heard of.

Lily: I'm glad to see that you finally realize that we're not so easy to win over.

James: After 6 years of making a total arse out of myself in front of you, I think something finally sank in. *grins*

Sirius: Not all the girls fall in love with me, by the by.

Peter: *raises an eyebrow* Is that so?

Sirius: Lily didn't. Most of the Slytherin girls hated me, too. I'm sure some of the Ravenclaws thought I was a silly immature git, and who knows what the Hufflepuffs thought.

Peter: Ah, well I guess that's so.

Remus: Well, your pranks did help reinforce that silly immature git image with the Ravenclaw females...

James: The Slytherin girls don't count. You have to look like a female to count.

Lily: I seem to recall Sirius' cousins looking very female.

Sirius: *sigh* Andromeda was pretty. Bella and Narcissa....well, if you like that sorta thing... And I guess Death Eaters really go for the twisted and insane.

From: Burninated Peasant
Happy Trogday! (Trogdor's 3rd birthday) Any plans involving burning things?

Sirius: FIRE!

Peter: Oh dear god...

James: We'd have to find something we haven't managed to set on fire, though. That might be difficult.

Lily: ...before you ask, I will not help you.

James: I wouldn't dream of it. *grins*

Remus: *sigh* That means you'll get me to help you instead of Lily.

Sirius: Why can't we just set Snivellus on fire? Grease is flammable, yeah?

James: *evil grin* Yes...

Lily: *sigh* Try not to hurt him, as I know I cannot dissuade you.

Remus: How about not trying to turn Snape into a fireball?

Peter: Should I go warn Madame Pomfrey that she'll have incoming?

Sirius: Good man, Wormtail. *claps Peter on the shoulder* Thinking ahead like that.

From: Miss_gold
While at Hogwarts, how do you get up in time for class in the mornings?

Sirius: 10 minutes before breakfast?

James: Sounds about right. Unless I have early morning quidditch practice, then it's an hour or two before breakfast.

Remus: About 20 minutes before breakfast for me. I have to make sure to get my shower before you two take over in there.

Lily: Only 10 minutes? And here I thought you preened in front of the mirror for hours.

Sirius: No, I'm naturally this dashing. *charming smile*

Lily: *rolls eyes* Riiiiight. I get up around 45 minutes to an hour before breakfast, as I like to shower and not smell when I go to class.

Sirius: I shower. It doesn't take more than 5 minutes to shower, Lils. What the devil are you doing in there?

Lily: As you can see, I do have considerably more hair than you do. And girls tend to be a bit more fastidious about their appearances than boys.

James: Unless you're Padfoot about to go out on a date. Haha.

Sirius: I think you're confusing me with you. *evil grin* Took him ages to get ready for that first date that Lils agreed to.

James: That....those were extenuating circumstances!

Peter: I get up about half an hour before breakfast.

From: Hermione
What would happen if Remus actually went to the moon?

Boys: *stare*

Remus: I honestly don't know...

James: Wow...um, I don't know, really.

Sirius: He wouldn't be a werewolf all the time, would he? I mean, there haven't been any werewolf astronauts, so we can't even know what would happen if Moony went to space.

Peter: One small step for Moony, one giant leap for werewolf-kind?

Remus: *chuckle* I like the sound of that.

From: Black Lab
Hey everyone! What is your favorite word to use or hear?

Sirius: Fangoriously.

Lily: That is not a word.

Sirius: Yes it is.

James: In Padfoot-land is it, at any rate.

Remus: Well, it is easy to make up new words. Actually, I like the word 'fwappage'.

Peter: I don't think I have a favorite word.

James: Me, too, Wormtail. It's an odd thing to have, a favorite word.

Sirius: *snorts* Your favorite word is 'Lily,' Prongs. You certainly say it often enough.

James: ...does a name really count? *slight blush*

Lily: *surpresses a quiet giggle*

From: Mandy
Have you guys noticed that you've become some kind of help-line thingy for other people's issues? Does it feel awkward for you (or at least for Remus and Lily) that you are acting like counselors?

Lily: I don't mind so much. After all, it is a question, and it's not like we said to ask us only things about ourselves.

Remus: At least there's a willing audience for advice this time, since the rest of the bunch doesn't listen to me.

From: Zevazo
How long would you EVER seriously consider growing your hair?

Lily: Mine's just about to my waist at the moment, and I wouldn't want it to be any longer. I can be a bit of a pain in the morning.

Sirius: I like my shaggy appearance. Maybe about 4-5 inches, depending on where you're measuring? It's not like I've got a girl's haircut or something. I'm just...shaggy. *grins*

Remus: Mine's sort of like Padfoot's, but just a little shorter and a little less shaggy.

James: *sigh* I try to keep it short, but it doesn't like to be short. It just...does what it wants to do.

Peter: I dunno, it's about average, I guess. I wouldn't want it very long.

From: Jenny
How was your first time Apparating?

James: Not that bad. left a bit of my robe behind the first time, but managed not to splinch myself.

Sirius: Did I leave anything behind? I can't remember.

James: I think it was a few stray hairs or something. But we weren't sure if it was because they fell off to begin with or if they got left behind during apparation.

Sirius: Because I'm cool like that.

Remus: Other than the initial shock, it wasn't bad.

Peter: I left a leg behind, sadly. But I managed alright after that. It was rather...uncomfortable.

James: It was kinda uncomfortable for all of us. I think you worried a lot of people into slinching themselves after that. But you got the hang of it after a fashion.

From: Weresquirrel of the Foamy Cult
Do you believe in the squirrelly wrath?

James: ....that was, well, no.

Sirius: Squirrels are fun to chase. *grins*

Remus: Yes, they are. *grins*

Peter: They're nice enough to me...I guess it's because rats and squirrels are similar.

From: Hermione
Have you guys learned how to line dance yet? If not, I could teach ya!!

James & Sirius: NO!

Remus: No, and I really don't want to learn.

Sirius: Ballroom dancing was bad enough.

James: Hear, hear!

Lily: I don't see where we would learn it. Isn't that popular in the southern United States? We don't have much in the way of line dancing here. There's other forms of dance around, though.

From: Jenna
Hi guys, who would win in a fight, Trogdor or Kerrek?

James: Who the devil is Kerrek?

Sirius: I think he's an ogre or something.

Lily: Wouldn't Trogdor win, what with his fiery breath and ability to fly?

Peter: I'm with Lily on this one...

Remus: I don't think Trogdor can fly with those tiny wings, but he'd probably win anyways.

From: Molly cool
Sirius, how does it look behind the drapery?

Sirius: *whimpers*

James: Oi, I thought we were going to lay off the drapery questions.

Sirius: *whimpers more*

Lily: Do you want to answer, Sirius? You don't have to if you don't want to.

Sirius: It's....dark. And cold. *turns into dog and hides under table*

From: A. Friend
How did you like to spend your summers away from Hogwarts? Snivellus, you may also answer.

James: Played a bunch of quidditch, had friends over, the usual stuff.

Sirius: *still under table* *barks*

Peter: What's that supposed to mean?

James: Well, I guess it could be about how his summers were bad as his family is a bunch of nutters.

Sirius: *barks again*

Remus: I like it when I get to go over to Prongs's house. Other than that it's just going out into the woods, reading, usual stuff.

Lily: I did what your average girl did during holiday. My family took trips sometimes, I saw some of my friends from grade school, things like that.