Ask the Marauders > December 2, 2005

From: Christine Daa
Bonjour, mon amies! Heh. Anyway...about the upcoming Order of the Phoenix movie: What do you think Snape's worst memory will be like, if they include it, and what emotions come to mind?

James: ...mmmm, well, I certainly hope I don't still look like a 40-year-old businessman still as a 15 year old...

Sirius: Should be interesting, though we're utter prats in that bit of the book.

Remus: Except for me. I was never an utter prat.

Lily: And here I thought you were just always a prat, Sirius. *smiles sweetly*

Sirius: Thanks Lils.

Lily: No Problem.

Peter: Well, I certainly can't look any worse than I do in the current movies. *sigh* Though I suppose I brought that on myself...though I don't look THAT much like my animagus form!

Lily: Well, you did spend 12 years as a rat, so maybe a person does take on more of the traits of their animagus form after spending prolonged periods transformed?

James: I never read anything to that effect when we were researching animagi...though I suppose it's possible.

Remus: With us, anything is possible.

Sirius: I just can't wait to see Lils yell at Prongs on the big screen. Ah, memories!

James: *sigh* Well, I'm sure watching myself crash and burn yet again will amuse you to no end, Padfoot.

Sirius: Yup! But I shall cheer you on grandly. After all, what are best mates for? *grins*

From: Kamie Black
Would you guys agree that Harry will most likely have a nervous breakdown by the age of 20 from all the stuff he's going through in the books?

James: I'm actually very pleased that he hasn't had a nervous breakdown already. That's my boy!

Remus: It's a miracle he didn't have a nervous breakdown because of the Triwizard Tournament.

Sirius: I think he should consider it a victory if he lives to the age of 20, breakdown or no.

Lily: Well, gee, Sirius, that's really positive.

Sirius: I'm just sayin'....you know, what with every dark wizard in England after him and all...

James: He does have a point. Though I am rooting for him, obviously. I think he'll turn out alright. He seems to have a pretty good head on his shoulders.

Peter: And good friends.

Lily: Yes, he'll be alright in the end. So no breakdown. Besides, he sort of, kind of already had a breakdown fifth year, so maybe it's all uphill from here?

Remus: We can only wait and see.

From: I'm Crazy
What can you cook?

Lily: I can't speak for this lot, but I can cook.

James: Lily is a wonderful cook.

Lily: I wouldn't know if I'm a *wonderful* cook, but I get by. *smiles*

Remus: I can cook well enough so I don't starve.

Sirius: I can cook!

Peter: You mean you can set things on fire?

Sirius: Actually, I do alright. I live on my own, remember?

James: Right, that whole leaving home/being disowned thing. Your flat needs a bit of a cleaning if it's anything like I remember it.

Sirius: I'm a busy guy. Who's got time to clean. *grins*

From: Weirdo
If you were able to make Snape dance to any tune, which one would you select? (Suggested song: Numa Numa Dance)

James: Ah, this is an interesting question...

Sirius: There's always the Hamster song...

Peter: Ugh, not that one. That's more irritating to us than him, I'd imagine.

Lily: Yes, do pick something that won't annoy everyone else.

Remus: I guess that means that the chicken polka is out of the question.

Sirius: How about a jaunty pirate shanty?

James: Can we dress him up in pirate gear, too?

Sirius: Well, he should be in full regailia. It's only proper. *grins*

Peter: Somehow I doubt McGonagall will be pleased that a student suddenly has a peg-leg.

Lily: Is McGonagall ever pleased with the stunts that you lot pull?

Remus: No.

Sirius & James: *grins*

From: Sara
Peter, when you went into Hagrid's pocket something almost ate you. Do you know what it was?

Peter: I'm not sure I want to know. It was a little larger than me, and had more legs that is normal.

James: Normal for what?

Peter: Normal for a mammal. The thing was hairy, though. I'm hoping it wasn't one of his little spidery friends...

Sirius: I think the spiders live in the forest, actually. But it could have been a new pet. You know Hagrid. He loves all animals...regardless of obvious dangers to his well being.

From: Lady Lily
Lily and James, had you lived, do you think that Harry would have had any contact with the Dursleys?

James: No.

Lily: James! *sigh* Well, Petunia is my sister, so I imagine that I would at least try to see her, though she didn't seem to keen on ever seeing us. But I would have tried.

James: And I would have tried...not to set that great oafish prat on fire.

Lily: ...I suppose I would have been obligated to stop you, yes?

James: Well, I don't know if you really had to stop me, but yeah, you would have.

Sirius: Oh, and I'd not be in prison, so you know that Harry would have been raised right. Heir to all the Marauders know, after all.

James: Indeed. He would have known more about Hogwarts than any other first year, and probably more than the rest of the school, before he even got there. Well, maybe not more than Dumbledore...

Lily: *sigh* Two of you would have been quite a handful. Add in Sirius, and we have real trouble. And of course the rest of you are just as bad sometimes.

Peter: Sorry Lily... We just get...caught up in the excitement?

Lily: *raises an eyebrow* A likely story...

Remus: At least I'd be contributing my knowledge of defense against the dark arts as well!

From: Insanity of the Green Muffin Day 624
What do you guys think of a holiday celebrating insanity?

Sirius: Yeah, my birthday. *grins*

James: Ha, I suppose that's true enough.

Remus: That holiday would be...frightening.

Peter: And what sort of festivities are there for such a grand holiday?

Sirius: Of course there is the wearing of the purple cowboy hats, as well as the strangling of Snape with a pink feather boa. Then there is the feast of cake and pudding. Have to have pudding. And lots of butterbeer.

Lily: I trust you don't strangle him to death, yes?

Sirius: Of course not. How would we be able to do this every year if we killed him the first time? *grins*

Lily: *sigh*

From: francesca
Will Harry die in the seventh book?

James: I certainly hope not.

Lily: I second that hope.

Remus: I third that hope.

Sirius: Though, considering that the Ministry will be of absolutely no help, as usual, it's fair to say that he'll be on his own.

Peter: He'll have Ron and Hermione with him, won't he?

Remus: He'll also have me around.

Sirius: That's true. But, of course, I had the gall to go diving through some stupid drapery. *sigh*

James: *pats Sirius on the head* It's okay, we know it wasn't intentional.

From: Dazzle
Were you guys surprised when Tonks took a shine to Remus?

Sirius: *sniffles* How could I know this if I've been EATEN by drapery!

James: Okay, enough with the melodrama.

Sirius: Fine, fine. *sigh* So, my little cousin likes Moony, eh? Well, it could be worse. She could fancy Snape or something.

Lily: Somehow I seriously doubt she would. Not that the feeling would EVER be mutual. I don't think he really likes people in general.

James: Lils, that's one heck of an understatement.

Lily: *shrugs* But I think it's kind of sweet. Poor Remus is rather lonely after Sirius had his 'drapery episode'.

Sirius: Yes, I have left Moony for drapery. I couldn't keep our affair a secret from him any longer, so hopped the first PortKey to Las Vegas and were married by Elvis in a drive-thru chapel.

Remus: *fakes wound* Ouch...that hurts...

James: ...I can't even begin to comprehend that scenario.

Lily: I don't think I want to comprehend that sentence. And it's rather besides the point.

Sirius: Oh. Well... *pats Remus on the shoulder* Good going, Moony. Try not to let her drive you too mad.

James: If she's anything like you, then Moony's in trouble.

Lily: Somehow I think he's used to trouble thanks to you lot.

Remus: I doubt she will be as bad as Padfoot was.

Sirus & James: *grins*

From: Tom-tom
Where did Sirius get the flying motor cycle from? Did he enchant it?

James: He bought the bike off some Muggle bloke and then enchanted it. Think there were a few more loopholes in the law about enchanting Muggle items. You know Padfoot, he either finds a way around the rules or just breaks them when they get in the way.

Sirius: I loved that bike. Scared the life out of birds...and small animals...and small children...and Moony... Come to think of it, just about everything. Though you didn't mind it all that much, right Prongs?

Remus: *shudders* The way you rode that bike would scare the life out of ANYBODY.

James: *shrugs* It was alright. Prefer brooms myself, as they're a bit easier to handle.

Lily: They're both equally dangerous, especially in the hands of you to.

Sirius: Lils, Prongs only crashed that one time because you were there and he was trying to show off.

James: Har har.

From: Nutsies
So what's the story behind Remus ending up in a dress?

Peter: It wasn't that much of a story.

James: You could say that Moony got the short straw in that instance.

Remus: *grumbles*

Sirius: Besides, he looks better in a dress than I do. I'm too, what was the phrase? 'Boy-shaped'?

James: What the devil does that mean, anyway?

Peter: Padfoot does have a bit more muscle to him than Moony does. Even if Moony's probably stronger.

Sirius: Yeah, Moony's all wiry and stuff. Dangerous bloke, that one.

Remus: And don't forget it.

From: Pyperll
Severus! I'm doing holiday shopping this weekend, so here's the big question... What would you like for Christmas?

Snape: For you to leave me alone.

Sirius: Snape! Oh, how we've missed your shining personality. Our days have been positively DULL without you!

Snape: I somehow doubt that, Black.

Sirius: *grins*

James: You know, I don't think Pyperll can buy 'leave me alone' in the store. Unless that's a new cologne.

Remus: But who would make that kind of cologne?

Peter: Leave Me Alone, the new scent by Calvin Klein. It will drive the ladies away. Far away.

Sirius: It sounds even weirder when you say it, Wormtail.

Peter: *smiels* I know.

From: Daved's Pen
Do you think that fruit cake was once a torture device?

Remus: YES.

Sirius: It still is.

James: Yeah, my mum's cousin still sends us a loaf every year. Yuck!

Lily: It can't honestly be *that* bad!

James: Oh yeah? I once used one as a doorstop.

Sirius: And then there's the time you sent one flying at my head and knocked me out cold.

Remus: Angie's mom makes some kind of fruitcake cookies. Those are even worse than a loaf of fruit cake!

Angie: Har har. And yes, my mom makes 175 fruitcake cookies every year, and have the consistency of hockey pucks.

Lily: There's something not right about a baked item being that...well, cement like?

Sirius: Cement? Naw, that's the wrong holiday. Robyn says that the matzah she eats during Passover's like cement when your stomach tries to digest it.

Lily: Well, that sounds rather unpleasant. But she doesn't seem to mind it all that much.

James: Yeah, because she only has to eat it for a week each year. We have these fruitcakes for months afterwards. Eventually my mum has to just throw them out because they start to MOLD.

From: Narrah
So, what are your favorite Jell-o flavors?

Sirius: One you're in? *grins saucily*

Lily: SIRIUS BLACK! That is EXTREMELY inappropriate.

Sirius: *grinning still* I know. But to answer this question more 'appropriately', I like cherry or grape.

James: I rather like raspberry.

Remus: Lemon or orange. Or lime. Any of the sweet citrus ones.

Peter: Orange or lime.

Lily: *still glaring slightly at Sirius* I like strawberry.

From: MaraudersAngel87
What was the funniest thing Siruis did when he was drunk?

James: Haha, what *wasn't* funny when Padfoot was drunk?

Peter: Cleaning up after him?

James: Ah, touché.

Sirius: I am not a sloppy drunk.

James: Tell that to the rest of our House. You make quite the mess at the parties we've thrown with alcohol.

Sirius: But I'm the life of the party. Life is messy sometimes.

Lily: I'm surprised that the cleaning charms managed to get it all clean after each party.

James: Moony's learned some pretty ingenious charms because we're such a handful. *grins*

Remus: *long sigh* Considering how ingenious you lot are about making a mess...

From: Tomoko
What will happen to the site if we fans stop asking you questions?

Sirius: Well, we'll just have to find something else to talk about every week instead of answering questions.

James: Yeah, I very much doubt that Padfoot here could shut up forever if you guys stopped asking questions. He can rattle on about absolutely nothing for hours if you get him going.

Lily: You should really be a talk show host, Sirius. At least you'd be more interesting.

Sirius: And far better looking. *grins*

Remus: And far more amusing.