Ask the Marauders > September 9, 2005

From: tomoko
Can Sirius be a guide-dog and help the blind?

James: Wouldn't that be like the blind leading the blind?

Sirius: Har har.

Lily: No, since Sirius can see. It would be more like the easily distracted leading the blind.

Sirius: I am not easily... *Lily waves around a shiny coin* ...ohh, shiny...

Remus: What else do you expect from Sirius?

James: *sigh* Good grief...

From: Pied Piper
What things can men do better than women? And women better than men?

Lily: Well, they can certainly get all in a huff to compete with either other better than we do.

James: That's not true. Girls can be just as competitive as guys!

Lily: Yeah, but we're more strategic about it. Boys like to be very loud and 'in your face' about competition.

Sirius: *shrugs* Yeah, that's true. Girls are certainly better at manipulating a situation to get the results they want. You're better than the majority of the Slytherins at that, actually.

Remus: Girls are also much better at scaring guys than guys are at scaring girls.

From: Anya
Severus, what's the best prank you've ever pulled on the Marauders? (or Sirius)

Snape: I do not sink to such deplorable levels, thank you.

Sirius: You're welcome, but that's not true. You've hexed us back plenty of times.

Remus: Some of those hexes were not easy to reverse, either.

James: But he doesn't really prank anyone. Got his nose in his books too much.

From: Wierdo
Do any of you sleep naked?

James: My, isn't that a personal question?

Sirius: *shrugs* I have, though not usually.

Remus: Thank whoever's in charge for that. I typically wear pajama pants, sometimes a shirt.

Lily: Before Sirius infers anything, I will say that I wear pajamas, as to the rest of the girls in my dorm.

Sirius: *grins* But I bet your pjs are cute.

Lily: *sigh*

Peter: I've got pajamas, as well.

James: I don't always wear a shirt, but I've got my pajama pants at least.

Sirius: Yes, so no Prongs the Pantsless Wonder for you, Wierdo.

James: Though Padfoot as this bad tendency to flash anyone that comes into our dorm room, so there's that... But he's usually got some sort of bottoms on.

Peter: Thank Merlin.....

From: I <3 Sirius
Sirius, was there ever a certain part of your life where you stopped caring about your brother or not?

Sirius: I guess you could say that. We got on well enough when we were younger. But I think when I started Hogwarts and was sorted into Gryffindor, everything started going downhill.

Lily: Most younger siblings look up to their older brothers and sisters when they're very young. I know I followed Petunia around when I was little.

Sirius: I guess it really was past repair when he started school and started hanging out only with the Slytherin gits and spouting their--and our parents'--nonsense about purebloods. Kind of sad, actually. I didn't mind having a little brother when I was small. Someone to play with in that huge dark house.

From: sniffer dogg
What do you actually do at the full moon except roam the grounds?

James: What don't we do?

Sirius: Aside from leave the grounds...very often. Moony's rather particular about that. *winks*

Remus: Yes, I am.

Lily: As well he should be! It's dangerous enough that the lot of you are running around during the full moon!

From: Third Charm
Hi...um, I was wondering if any of you have ever jinxed a teacher?

Lily: Have you guys ever been stupid enough to do that?

Sirius: Actually...

James: I can't believe you forgot about the time we set up those flowers to sing 'Happy Birthday' all day to McGonagall when we found out her birthday!

Lily: Oh no...I'd forgotten about that.

Peter: But does that really count as jinxing a teacher?

Sirius: I guess not? It wasn't like there was intent to prank behind that, though there was the potential to annoy as it was very difficult to shut those flowers up.

James: She did smile a little at them when she thought we weren't looking. I think she appreciated the thought.

Remus: And you don't know how relieved I was at that.

Lily: You guys can be sweet...in weird ways, but sweet.

From: Blossom Possum
This is just a question...Snape must answer too!! What do your mothers/fathers/whatevers say or do to you when you leave for Hogwarts, do they give you a kiss goodbye, do they cry or what?

Sirius: Well, when they sent me off for my first year, it was all hugs and 'do your family proud', etc etc. After that, it was rather stony silence. After I ran away and stayed at Prongs' house, then I got hugs and goodbyes from his mum. Your mum was awesome, Prongs.

James: Yeah, she really was. I got hugs and so forth everytime I left for school. My mum would be a little teary-eyed, going on and on about how quiet the house would be when I was away. Kind of embarassing, but mums are like that. My dad would just remind me to owl them every so often to let them know how I was getting on.

Lily: My parents were much the same way. A little nervous the first time they sent me through the barrier, but afterwards they would just gush over me and insist that I owl when I got to school and so on.

Peter: My mum would always give me extra snacks for the train. She made great cupcakes. Though the kisses would get to be a little much after a while. I'd have to wipe all this lipstick off my face when I got on the train.

Remus: My parents were very worried my first year, and insisted that I owl them every single week. But every following year it was just hugs and reminders to send owls throughout the year.

Snape: *sigh* My mother says very little to me outside of 'have a good year' and 'goodbye'.

From: Brownie Fuzzikins
Did Remus ever pull a really good prank? Surely he had to, I mean, he IS a Marauder.

James: Well, maybe Moony should answer this one. We could make something fun up, but that's usually not as interesting as the truth.

Remus: Let's see, which prank do you want to hear about? I liked enchanting some of their homework to start yelling about how certain people should do their own homework.

From: Snapple'd
This question is for everyone (Angie, Robyn, Snape, etc.) If you had a giant bottle of chococlate syrup, what would you do with it?

Sirius: What *wouldn't* I do? *evil grin*

James: Hmmm, world's largest ice cream sundae?

Peter: A year's worth of chocolate milk?

Lily: Can I have some of the sundae?

James: *grins* Of course you can.

Robyn: ...aside from ice cream sundaes and chocolate milk? What else would you do with chocolate syrup, anyway? I could ask certain parties, but I fear the answers I'd get back. *laughs*

Angie: I decline to answer this question because my response isn't exactly PG-13. *sweatdrop*

From: Iowan_witch
Remus and Sirius did you guys ever chase cats? Just thought I'd ask, seeing how as I'm a 'cat person' an' all.

Sirius: I think we've chased cats a couple times.

Remus: Not very often. Squirrels are more fun.

James: Padfoot's always said how he wants to barge into Transfiguration when McGonagall is showing her transformation and chase her around the classroom.

Lily: He's not done it yet, though. I think he's all talk.

Sirius: Nah, I'm just not interested in *that* much detention. Now maybe when I'm out of school I can come back and...visit. *evil grin*

From: Madame M.
hWich one of you would look best in a dress? (Lily doesn't count.)

Peter: Definitely not me.

James: Or me. I just don't have the figure for a dress. Besides, I think Lils would put us all to shame if we were all in dresses.

Remus: Thanks to this lot I have been in a dress. And I don't think I looked all that good in it

Sirius: I think skirts make my butt look big.

All: *stare*

James: ...okay.

Lily: *sigh*

From: Gabbey
Duct tape or Scotch tape?

Sirius: Duct tape, of course!

Peter: It does solve everything.

Remus: Or at least hold the universe together.

James: Wonder if it would work on Voldemort?

Lily: Now there's a thought. The self-proclaimed 'Dark Lord' bound up by duct tape, a *muggle* invention. *grins*

From: SS
The world is running around in a panic. What has Sirius done this time?

Sirius: I didn't do it!

James: What hasn't he done?

Remus: He hasn't flashed the entire world yet.

Peter: He hasn't caused worldwide panic yet, actually. Not that we know of, at any rate.

Lily: Oh no, only national panic. Being an escaped convict will do that.

Sirius: I was innocent! *big teary eyes*

Lily: *pats Sirius on the head* Yes, yes, we know. It's okay.

From: LovePadfoot5867
Sirius, what do you think about Remus dating your cousin Tonks?

Sirius: ...

James: Haha, yes that was amusing...amusingly random, but amusing.

Lily: At least she got the sane Marauder. Look who I got stuck with. *grins as James seems to get upset*

James: Lils! How could you!

Lily: Oh stop that. *rolls eyes* You know I love you even if you're being a prat.

Sirius: Yes, well....I guess it's okay? I mean, they kinda need each other at this point? What with my demise by drapery and all. You'd just be good to her, Moony, or I'll come back and...and...and haunt you!

Remus: You don't need to worry about that. Although it'd be funny to be haunted by
someone killed by drapery.

Lily: ...why do I get the feeling that you haunting someone wouldn't be scary, just mildly irritating?

James: You *should* haunt their drapery... *evil grin*

Sirius: Prongs! *teary eyed again*

From: Name:
Have any of you (including Robyn, Angie, and Severus) ever seen the show M*A*S*H?

Lily: I vaguely remember that show? Wasn't that on in the States in the 70s?

Robyn: Yeah, I've watched it. I watched it a whole bunch at one point when I found a station running daily reruns of it.

Angie: M*A*S*H! *_* Definitely seen it, my father likes that show. And Hawkeye
Pierce is awesome.

James: I'm sure I've seen it, too, but I don't watch much television. It's a little weird.

From: Fabala
I know you guys don't like slash, but I have to know how do you guys feel about gay marriage? Severus you must answer or I will sneak into your room at night and kidnap you!

James: We've got nothing against it, actually. People can marry whomever they want to. So long as they're happy, there shouldn't be a problem.

Sirius: It's not that we hate slash. We're just scared of the more...graphic stuff? *shudders* It's one thing to write romance and the stuff that comes along with it, but there are some things that are physically impossible.

Remus: Not to mention the pairings...

Lily: Slash tends to be very graphic and not about the relationship at all. We'd rather read something with substance, or that's actually interesting. Though there is some slash that is well written and not smut. If we wanted to read smut, we would download smut.

From: Alyson
What would you do if Remus got stuck in a tree?

Sirius: Before or after laughing my arse off?

Remus: And after I make you tink for a week for laughing at me?

James: I'm sure we'd help him down. Unless we put him there, though I can't think of a good reason why we'd put him up a tree.