Ask the Marauders > July 31, 2005

James: Well, look at the date. It's been a while since we did one of these.

Sirius: Blame Robyn. She's lazy.

Lily: As if you're any better.

Remus: Isn't today Harry's birthday?

James: Yes, actually. And I would shower him with all manner of things from Zonko's were I still among the living.

Sirius: As would I. I did get to give'em a Firebolt for Christmas that one year, though.

Lily: And it's also J. K. Rowling's birthday, if I am not mistaken. So a big Happy Birthday goes out to her, too. *smiles*

James: Yeah, thanks for creating us, and stuff.

Sirius: Though I'm still a bit sore about getting knocked off by drapery, but I'm willing to let that slide for such an awesome lady. *grins charmingly*

Remus: Yes, so on with the show, as it were...

From: Emily the strange
Why do they call small chocolate bars fun-sized when it's a lot more fun to eat a big one?

James: It's all propoganda.

Remus: It's a ploy to get us to buy more small chocolate bars.

Sirius: You have to admit that it's pretty smart marketing...except that most people would find larger candy bars more fun.

Lily: I think it's meant to attract children. And usually they give those sizes out when kids trick-or-treat on Halloween.

James: That's when Muggle children dress up like us and run around begging for candy, right?

Sirius: Such an awesome way to celebrate the holiday. *grins*

Remus: Better than the pranks done on the same day.

From: Dog Lover
Hey Remus, what would you do if one of your friends was bitten by a werewolf?

Remus: It's more like what wouldn't I do? Honestly, I'd spend time either supporting them when the world turns on them or teach them how to live with being a werewolf.

James: Because Moony is the awesomeness. *grins*

Sirius: I couldn't have said it better myself! Indeed, awesomeness incarnate. *winks*

From: somebody
I was wondering, what does a bat-bogey hex do?

James: Makes a person's bogies bigger, grow wings, and attack them.

Lily: Really nasty looking, if you ask me.

Remus: And insanely stupid.

Sirius: And immature. We stopped using that hex after what? Second year?

Lily: You're not the pinnacle of maturity, you know...

Sirius: Yes, but we found more interesting hexes to use.

Lily: If by interesting you mean dangerous, then yes.

Remus: The 'tinking' hex isn't dangerous.

From: Ravenlight
How do you guys feel about Sirius dying in the Order of the Phoniex?

Sirius: I'm not a fan of that book.

Remus: I'm not a fan of that book either. That leaves me being the only one left, besides Peter the traitor.

James: You fell through a veil between life and death, of course you're not a fan.

Lily: Going by that, we shouldn't be fans of Philosopher's Stone.

James: *shrugs* What can you do?

Sirius: Hello? Talking about me here!

James: *rolls eyes* I don't particularly like the idea of my best mate getting bumped off by drapery any more than anyone else would. And that means Harry has even less family now. But at least he has his friends.

Lily: I was sorry to see you killed, Sirius. For all the times you drive me insane, I wouldn't wish that on you.

Sirius: Aww, thanks guys! You're the best mates a guy could ask for!

From: Jamesie
I would like to ask if any of you have gotten into any physical fights, meaning without magic. This spans all of your years at Hogwarts.

Lily: *sigh* Too many.

James: Padfoot and I do get into a row now and again.

Sirius: We're boys, what do you expect?

Lily: If you've got to wrestle about on the common room floor like that, you may as well do so in a fashion that would entertain the rest of us.

Remus: *groans* please don't encourage them, Lily.

Sirius: Meaning?

Lily: You could at least be shirtless.

James: I think we have been at one point or another. Though I will draw the line at odd costumes or the addition of jell-o or mud.

Lily: I hadn't even thought of that... *evil grin*

Sirius: Thanks a lot, Prongs. Now she's going to be thinking about that the rest of the day.

Remus: Better that than other things.

From: Miya
If all the Marauders and Lily had to put a paragraph about themselves on a dating website, what would it sound like?

James: Do we have to write each others, or do we get to write our own?

Sirius: What's the fun in that? Let's see.... For Jamsie here, we could write, "Young male seeks young female who is willing to listen to him prattle on about quidditch for hours, romps in the Forbidden Forest at night with a werewolf, likes deer, and does not limit his pranking adventures. Willing to stop messing with hair. Prefers redheads."

James: Oh yeah? "Young male seeks adventurous female willing to do anything, anytime, anywhere."

Sirius: That's it?

Lily: That's fairly all inclusive.

James: Oh, I guess we'd have to throw in something about being petite and buxom.

Sirius: Aren't those contradictory?

James: Tell that to Robyn. *snickers*

Remus: Or Angie.

Sirius: Ha ha, very funny. I don't chase after girls that are taken.

Lily: Remus, what sort of personal ad would you have, if you were forced to do one?

Remus: "Quiet and tormented young male seeks female willing to love him for who he is and will not bother him about being out with the guys all night."

Sirius: Don't we get to hear about Lily's?

James: Why? She's popular enough without the ad. Half our year alone wanted to date her.

From: Moi
James, when did you first start to like Lily? And was it hard to keep liking her when she obviously had no interest in you for so long?

James: I think I started liking her around second or third year? I don't really remember.

Sirius: As far as we are concerned, you were besotted with her from the moment you met her.

James: *glares*

Peter: It's true.

Sirius: Pete! There you are. Where were you? You missed the personal ad question.

Peter: Pity, that. *smiles* I was finishing an essay, actually.

Remus: *smiles* Glad to hear that some besides me is doing homework around here.

James: Getting back to the question...

Sirius: Yes, why didn't you give up after she turned you down countless times?

James: I really really liked her? It's like I knew I wanted to be with her and no body else, if that makes sense. She's the most intriguing girl I've met, and probably the only one that didn't go all gaa gaa over me on sight. That does get annoying from some of the other girls at school.

Lily: Oh, I can imagine...

James: I'm serious! (Sirius: No I am!) It gets kinda old having girls fall all over you because of how you look instead of what you're actually like.

Lily: And now that you're not a prat anymore, you can realize that. And you get the fringe benefit of my agreeing to date you. *grins*

From: She-who-thinks-too-much
Remus, I've got a question for you. Although, everyone can put a thought in. I was watching the third movie today and thought something up. I believe it was said that you can't see the true form of a boggart, as it transforms as soon as it spots someone, or something like that, correct? What if, by some random chance, one could stumble upon a person who had a fear of boggarts in general, and feared seeing what it's true form looked like? What would happen if they were to run into one? xD

Sirius: Well, Professor Dictionary?

Remus: Enough about that, Padfoot. As to the question, the boggart changes into the thing a person fears the most. If in the rare case that there is someone out there who fears boggarts the most, they wouldn't change their shape at all. Generally, though, there's something else that people fear the most. Like Angie and her fear of spiders.

Angie: Shut. Up. About. That.

From: Regina
James and Lily, if you could spend one day with Harry, what would you guys be doing?

James: Imparting all my knowledge of pranking.

Lily: You most certainly would not!

James: Aww, you're no fun Lils.

Lily: I think Harry gets into enough trouble on his own without your help, thank you.

James: What can I say? It's in his blood. *grins*

Lily: I, for one, would just like to go out somewhere like a normal family. You know, take him somewhere one would take their children, like the zoo or a park, just out somewhere that we can all be together.

James: Where we can teach him how to play Wizard's Tag! *evil grin*

Lily: *sigh* I suppose there's not stopping you. At least that's relatively harmless.

James: *grins*

Note: We may have explained this before, but wizard's tag is something that we came up with for the RPG we were in a while back. Essentially, it's the same as normal tag, except you tag each other with the all-popular 'tinking' hex, color and body part are up to the person who is 'It'.

From: Janis B.
Do you guys (and Lily) think that there is a girl out there who can tame Sirius and make him a family man?

James: *snorts* You are joking, right?

Remus: Nope. Not in a million years.

Sirius: I am the untameable!

Lily: You're also impossible.

Peter: Do we really need little Padfoots running around, causing all sorts of mayhem?

Sirius: We let Prongs reproduce. How bad would it be to have little me's running around?

All: *stare meaningfully*

Sirius: You are no fun.

Lily: It would take a woman with enormous patience, and probably a bit of an adventurous spirit to handle Sirius.

From: Buzzer
Did you have Superlatives in Hogwarts? If so, did you win any?

(To those who don't know: superlative is a title of those who are graduating and their classmates vote for them for different catergories. For instance, I was chosen for 'Most Likely To Get In A Fender Bender' and 'Most Changed')

Peter: I don't think we had those.

James: I think Padfoot and I would have to fight over something like 'Most Popular', though that doesn't have much imagination behind it.

Sirius: How about 'Most Likely To Go To Jail'?

Lily: That would be you.

Sirius: Hey, I didn't know that at the time!

James: Then what would I get?

Lily: 'Most Changed Because His Ego Deflated To A Manageable Size'?

James: *pouts* Thanks a lot...

Peter: I'd probably get something useless, if I even got one. *sigh*

Sirius: *slings an arm around Peter* Don't worry Pete, we'd hex anyone that voted you for something useless. *grins*

Peter: Thanks, I think.

Remus: I'm not sure I want to know what I would get.

From: Hermione
What were all your reactions when you found out Lily was pregnant?

Sirius: It is the apocalypse!

James: Har har har, Padfoot.

Sirius: A possible mini-Prongs? I would think that would be cause for concern.

Peter: You'd think that would have been McGonagall's response. *grins*

Remus: No, she was desperately hoping that Lily's child would be like her and not Prongs.

Lily: I think James' response was best.

Sirius: Never seen a full-grown man faint dead away like that before.

James: *blushes slightly* I was a bit nervous about the prospect of being a father.

Lily: You turned out okay. *smiles*

From: Dessa
You know... since we're on the subject of pirates (sorry James, Remus, Peter, Lily, Angie, and Robyn)... What DO you do with a drunken sailor?

Sirius: YARRRR!

James: Dessa, I think we need to talk about not mentioning the 'P' word around Padfoot here.

Peter: *snickers*

Lily: Well, I don't know what we'd do with a drunken sailor, but a drunken Sirius is best locked in a closet without his wand, or anything else dangerous, so that he can sleep it off and not hurt anyone, including himself.

Sirius: Is that why I always wake up in a broomcloset after we go out drinking?

Remus: Yes. We don't need to spend a few days recovering from any drunken antics you would pull.

From: Hazel
What would you do if you were suddenly mute?

Sirius: Me? Mute?

Lily: The world would be a much quieter place...

Sirius: Har har.

James: I'm sure McGonagall would be happy if one of us was suddenly mute. Except maybe Moony or Lily.

Remus: I'd be learning some kind of sign language. Not all languages require speech.

Sirius: I would just annoy her by miming everything! Hey, I should do that anyway sometime! *grins*

From: I LuV ChOcOlAtE aLoT
Lily, I'm wondering if there have been any times that the boys have talked you into doing any pranks with them?

Lily: Ah, no. I didn't put up with much of their shenanigans for the first six years we were at Hogwarts. I even gave them detention a few times once I was named a prefect.

James: She never was much fun about pranks.

Sirius: We used to wonder if she had a sense of humor. Well, I did at least. Prongs just stared at her when she wasn't looking and made a general fool of himself when she was around.

James: Hey!

Lily: It is true. You did make quite a fool of yourself when you tried to impress me.

James: *sigh* I was young, I was stupid, and you were beautiful.

Lily: That's what all the boys say. *grins*

James: Hey!

From: Cyrus Amagus
Okay, I just wanted to know: What was your worst bad hair day of all time?

James: *long-suffering sigh* Every day?

Lily: Unless you count when you mess it up more as being worse. *grins*

James: Is this Pick On James Day or something?

Sirius: It is? Did I miss a memo?

Lily: Yes, but I imagine you miss most of the memos.

Peter: A plethora of memos.

Sirius: Plethora? You've been hanging around in the library too much lately, Wormtail.

James: Or Moony's having a positive influence on at least one of us.

Remus: *beams* Thank you.

Sirius: I don't have bad hair days. I always look good. *preens*

Lily: Git. I have occasional bad hair days, but I think any of the times that Sirius blew up a cauldron in my vacinity would be considered a bad hair day. The things that exploding potions will do to a girl's hair... *sigh*

Remus: My bad hair days were the ones after the werewolf transformation. *shudders*

From: SuperCreamsoda
Why is it that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

James: Because dogs are dumb.

Sirius: And deer are so much more intelligent... *snorts*

Remus: I think wolves are more intelligent than either one.

James: We don't go sticking our heads out of windows!

Sirius: Instead you get caught in headlights of cars and run over.

Lily: *giggles*

James: Hey!

Sirius: It's true!